Warrior Moms: Surviving Child Loss
A club no one wants to be in because the initiation is too big of a sacrifice: the loss of a child. Unthinkable. Unimaginable. Warrior Moms is local group in north Atlanta filled with strong, courageous, funny, and fiercely loving women who are surviving and thriving amidst horrific grief.
This podcast features Amy Durham and Michele Davis, two of the Warrior Moms, who will guide listeners through their grief journey. Every fourth or fifth episode will showcase another Warrior Mom, the trauma they endured, stories about their beloved child, and tips on how they get out of bed every day.
Each and every Warrior Moms' story is different, the children and the loss is different, but one thing they share is the decision to live. They have figured out how to live life putting one foot in the past and the other moving forward. Yes, it's beyond awful. Yes, it's hard. Yes, it's worth it. And yes, they say, you can survive child loss AND thrive.
Warrior Moms: Surviving Child Loss
S3 Ep1: Warrior Moms Reintroduced
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Grief can make you feel like you’re the only mother on earth carrying this kind of silence, even when you’re surrounded by people who love you. We’re Amy Durham and Michele Davis, and we’re back for season three of Warrior Moms because we know what it’s like to lose a child and still have to wake up, feed the dog, show up for family, and somehow keep breathing.
There are so many new listeners since we started, so we wanted to reintroduce who we are and our stories of loss and love.
Amy lost her son Alec seven years ago after years of addiction and a hard-won season of sobriety. Michele lost her son Carter ten years ago, murdered just before his senior year, in a moment that shattered a community and rewrote everything that came after.
We also share the heart of what Warrior Moms means to us with the superhero cape being our symbol. Some days we wear it and function like superheroes, amazed at the giant feats we've accomplished while desperately missing our child. Other days it becomes a blanket on the floor we wrap up in, and that’s not weakness, it’s grief.
We lean into our motto “feel the feels,” we talk about living in the and (joy and sorrow together), and why telling our children’s stories keeps their lives present.
You’ll also hear what we’ve built from this pain: our book Grieve Like a Mother, Survive Like a Warrior, our retreats and workshops, and our nonprofit support foundation that helps keep resources low cost or no cost for grieving moms.
If you’ve been searching for a child loss podcast, support for bereaved mothers, or real coping strategies for grief, you’re in the right place. Subscribe, share with someone who needs it, and leave a review so more moms can find this community.
"Dream Bird" by Jonny Easton
Thank you for listening to Warrior Moms podcast. It is an honor to share about our beloved children gone too soon, and we hope by telling of our loss, it may help someone in their grief journey. Please note that we are not medical professionals and encourage those listening to seek help from mental health professionals.
We'd love to hear from our followers!
Please help support us, so we can help support other grieving moms.
Websites:
https://www.warriormoms.me/
https://www.warriormomssupportfoundation.org/
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With love,
Warrior Moms Amy & Michele
Season Three And Reintroductions
SPEAKER_01Well, hello. Welcome back to Warrior Moms. Amy, it's been a minute.
SPEAKER_00It's been a couple of minutes, I think. But I'm glad to be back.
SPEAKER_01Yes. Welcome to our official season three, if we're gonna call it that.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. We'll call it that. We call it whatever we want. That's right. Let's do. I mean, don't tempt me with a good time, right? This is it. Exactly. This is it.
SPEAKER_01So what we were thinking was there's so many new listeners, and we're so grateful for that. Um, that we thought we would just reintroduce ourselves. Um, I mean, where are we in the world, Amy?
Alec’s Story And Addiction Loss
SPEAKER_00So we are two moms that have lost our children. I lost my son Alec um seven years ago in May, and he was when he was 24 years old. He um he was actually a recovering addict. He um we spent many years in addiction. And but when he actually passed away, he was sober and had been sober for about 20 months. If you're a mom of an addict, you know that 20 months is a huge success. For some reason, he decided to start drinking one day and um sat down beside a pond, drank until he passed out, fell in a pond, and drowned. So it's an accidental drowning. You know, it just it happened so fast. All the times that we thought we might lose them, we didn't, and the times that were everything was great, he ended up passing. So um, so yeah, so you know, we're walking this child loss
Carter’s Story And Sudden Violence
SPEAKER_00journey. And I know, Michelle, you lost Carter.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, so it's been 10 years on August 1st, and um Carter was 17, and we had just moved to Georgia, had been here um just shy of a year, and Carter played lacrosse and had a bunch of friends at Roswell High School, and he went to River Ridge High School. Um, and we had just gotten back from a family trip, and he met up with some Roswell friends who weren't starting school yet. Um, Carter was supposed to start his senior year that Monday, so Sunday night. He goes out and meets some friends. One in particular was a new kind of love interest of his, um, Natalie. And everybody went home and they stayed back and um just at the wrong place at the wrong time. They were both murdered um on a street with million-dollar homes, which was crazy.
SPEAKER_00I remember the story well, and the just the yeah, the tragedy and the shock and everything in our community.
SPEAKER_01Yes.
SPEAKER_00I mean, you can't even you can't explain it from all different levels.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. 10 years hit really, really hard this year for sure.
SPEAKER_00Um for multiple reasons that we can go into and more future episodes. For sure. Because it's because we know each other and we can listen to each other speak, and that's kind of where we the war your moms began. And that's why we do this podcast, is because we feel so alone in our grief because all of our friends and family they can't really understand, and it hits them in a different way than it hits us. Because I know this last year, I know number 10. I haven't hit number 10, but I know that 10th year. I know that your daughter just did her senior year, which Carter never got to do. I know that she has gone away to college that Carter never got to do. She turned the birth that he barely did.
SPEAKER_01And
The Warrior Cape And Permission
SPEAKER_0117, yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and that's where this being a warrior, that's what we call ourselves. We call ourselves warriors because it is shocking sometimes that we can continue to do the things that we continue to do day in and day out.
SPEAKER_01Um and I love how you say that, Amy, about the um warrior moms. Um, you know, our our icon that we use is, you know, a a woman with a superhero cape. And tell us about how you say it. I love it.
SPEAKER_00Well, uh, yeah, I mean, there's days that I wear my cape and I fly around the world and I um I do. I feel like a superhero um magically in my cape. And then there's other days that I use my cape as a blanket, and I will not just lay in the bed, I'll lay on the floor if I have to. But some days I just can't even get up. And it it that cape comforts me as a blanket. So and it's we don't always have to wear our cape as a as a cape. That's right. We don't have to be strong every day. I think that's the biggest motto of us is feel the feels. It's my token phrase, feel the feels if you're sad, be sad. If you're happy, be happy. That's right. And I think that we give each other permission to do that without guilt and without shame.
SPEAKER_01That's exactly right. And and when Amy and I, you know, decided to do this podcast, that was really our goal is just to make sure that anyone who was listening, and at that point when we started, we just were hopeful that we could reach one mom. And we thought, gosh, if if we helped one mom feel less alone, we did our job. And now, Amy, we have reached more than one mom.
SPEAKER_00More than one mom.
Building Community And Finding Joy
SPEAKER_00Um, and we've shot how many moms do we meet reach?
SPEAKER_01I know we have almost 26,000 downloads in 94 countries, y'all. So thank you for being here. And yes, thank you. And we hope that, you know, just our stories and interviewing other moms and um talking about what do we do for holidays and birthdays and any of these things gives you a little bit of comfort um to know, like I said, you're not alone, but also how do you lean into joy at the same time while carrying in, carrying this huge grief. That's a huge part.
SPEAKER_00Huge. And I know that for me, it is like you said, it's um it is how do we do it? Yes, we have sad stories. We have stories that we don't wish on anyone.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00We don't, I mean, these are not and and we don't want we don't want the end of our stories to be sad. We don't want our children to that to be it for them. Yeah. We want them to continue to live on. We they continue to live on through us. We're the we're the storytellers of their lives. And remember that as you go out into the world and everything is continue to talk about them because they are your children. And it's what's I laugh because I love Alec more and more every day, just like I do my other children, Chase and Layla. I continue to love them more and more every day. And I continue to love Alec more and more, which is weird. Yeah. Because he's not here, but he's still a part of me no matter what.
SPEAKER_01No matter what. And and yeah, we both do a good job of, you know, talking to our kids and talking about our kids. And and that is so important. And that relationship still grows. And I think that, wow, that was hard to imagine in those first couple years for sure.
SPEAKER_00Oh, yeah. You know, it's we just got back from a family vacation that Alec is always on, and I still have days, seven, you know, over seven years out that he should be here.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00But yet I have the joy of my other kids that are here. Yeah. And my husband and my sister-in-law, and my brother-in-law, and my mother-in-law, and you know, it's just cousins and just the joys that are in there. But yes, there's always a peace that's missing.
SPEAKER_01Gosh, yeah.
SPEAKER_00And how do we continue to bring joy to those moments is absolutely and we have to be intentional about it.
SPEAKER_01And one of the things that I love about just our friendship and this, the way that Amy and I do this podcast, and and it really relates to how what you know Amy was just sharing about just our own grief is giving each other space and grace. And we
Grief Break And Living In The And
SPEAKER_01had to take a little break last year. Amy, you want to talk about your grief that was compounded?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, so um we did take a little grief. We took a grief break because, you know, it's um my father got really sick over the summer and was in and out of the hospital a lot, and um, and he ultimately passed in September of last year. And it just, you know, when somebody's so close and so special and just it brings up so many more emotions and just um it just the dynamics in your life change. Even though our parents, you know, okay, we expect them to die one day, they're supposed to go before us. Right. That is the what the normal trajectory of life. Um but it it still hurts and it still sucks. And it just but we have to learn how to navigate grief along with our life. And that's just, you know, the living in the and um as Michelle's always says, living in the and is yes, you know, when we went on our family vacation with my my family earlier in the summer, it was, you know, it was um, there was a piece missing. There were two pieces missing. And it's just but we continue to bring joy because we know that that's what our loved ones want. They don't want us to sit at always saying they don't want us to sit at home and cry about it. Yeah, they want us to keep going and move forward. And um, and that's and I know that that's what God wants me to do with this stupid story he gave me. And um, that's another reason. That's another reason we keep going and we keep coming back on the podcast, Michelle, is because this is not the end of our story and this is not the end of our children's story. And yes, we want this to be the end of anyone else's story. We want y'all to find the strength to live in the end.
SPEAKER_01Absolutely. And, you know, it's it's amazing when we've um, you know, Amy and I and a couple of the other warrior moms have created uh Warrior Mom retreat and some workshops. And it's just been amazing. You know, Amy and I'll be standing somewhere and somebody will come up and go, Oh, I recognize your voices.
SPEAKER_00Oh my gosh, I listened to the podcast. That means more to me that they listen than anything. And it's not because they're listening to us, it's that they're reaching out to find that hope that there is joy in tomorrow. As much as it hurts right now, you know. I think that something, I think at their our day retreat that we had in April in Canton, there were women there that in the retreat last fall, there were women there that were like three or four months out.
SPEAKER_01Yes.
SPEAKER_00And I don't I didn't have that strength at that moment to do that.
SPEAKER_01Well, and we didn't have the opportunity either.
SPEAKER_00No, we did not have the opportunity. We didn't know anybody, you know. Oh, you how many times do people say, Oh, I have a friend of a friend?
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00This lost a child too, but there was no connection. There was no that was it. Just, oh, there's somebody else that's lonely like me.
SPEAKER_01And you can hardly get out of bed, let alone make a phone call to someone you don't know, you know? It's hard. All of that is hard. It you know, it's thoughtful that somebody wanted to connect us with somebody else, but those are hard things. And those are hard things. So no, and there's so hearing from other, you know, grieving moms that the podcast helps in some ways, that they it does give them, you know, a little bit of light in some darkness.
SPEAKER_00I think that's our ultimate goal.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, absolutely. You can find joy again, you can, and it can live together, yeah, and does, and often at the exact time, which seems crazy.
SPEAKER_00That's the oxymoron.
SPEAKER_01It's like, no, it can't. Yeah, it actually is.
unknownWatch me.
SPEAKER_01Watch me, watch me, watch me cry and laugh at the same time. What do you know? But so um, let's dig a little deeper in who are the warrior moms. What what busy stuff have we been doing? Wow.
SPEAKER_00Oh wow. Oh, so what
The Book Grieve Like A Mother
SPEAKER_00a year ago?
SPEAKER_01Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_00Oh my gosh, that's weird. So just one year ago, we launched a book.
SPEAKER_01I know it feels like four years ago, I swear.
SPEAKER_00It feels like, yeah, at least 24. We wrote a book. We wrote a book. It took two years to get that book to publication. Yes. And then it's been out maybe three, three probably from the original, let's write a book. Yeah. Um so, but yeah, two years of hard work for sure. Um, which you took lead on that and with the editing and the all the fun stuff that went along with it. Um, you were Batman, I was Robin. We both had our capes on.
SPEAKER_01Um then uh what's the title and where can we find it? Because I know I love it. You you created the title, which is so cool.
SPEAKER_00It came in the middle of the night. Like I said, God speaks at times. It's called Grieve Like a Mother, Survive Like a Warrior, and it is 14 warrior moms that have come together and each have a chapter talking about their child. The tragedy, but the bulk of the chapters are how we have survived. The real life strategies um that we did is words of inspiration, it's words of sorrow, but the the bulk of it is how we have survived and they're real life strategies that yeah.
SPEAKER_01And I love that. Um, because they are individualized strategies. Um, it's not clinical things that are um, you know, somebody researched. It's you know, what what strategies did you do, Amy? Here's seven, you know, um, here's nine that Rayanne does.
SPEAKER_00And then here's three that someone else did. And they're some of them are the same.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, but get outside, get moving.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, we all have our but we all have our own take on it. And then there are unique things. And I've learned from some of the other moms, you know, and it's um like try something new. Um it's a big one. And now I crochet like a crazy woman. They call me the crazy crochet lady. So when I can't get out when I can't get outside and play in the dirt, I crochet like a million. Yeah, I'm caught I'm called a hooker. I just sit there and I hook all day long. All day long. There you go.
unknownAll day long.
SPEAKER_01You're crazy girl. Um we're just we're so proud of that book. Um, you know, and it's our kids have have passed in all different ways. So our experience um is different, even though the ultimate thing is we've all lost children.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and there's 14 of us that never most of us never would have even crossed paths.
SPEAKER_01Mm-mm. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Had it not been for the common commonality of our children.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_00Um, but I would I wouldn't do I couldn't do life without any of them.
SPEAKER_01I know. It's it's absolutely completely true.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. And we got to lots of room. It's the club no one wants to be in. Yeah, the club no one wants to be in.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_01And we can look at each other and we know exactly kind of where someone is at that moment.
SPEAKER_00You say it's Alex's birthday today.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_00Or it's a situation today.
SPEAKER_01I mean, it's just we know and all of our stomachs drop because we know the weight of that.
SPEAKER_00That I shouldn't say it's funny, but yeah, I I every time somebody says something, I'm like, yeah, it does. It takes my breath away because I know. Oh. And and other people want to know. And I think that's the podcast is good for a lot of other people too that don't haven't lost children, but are close to people that have lost children. Because there are so many people that I've met that have said I listen to, you know, they might not listen to all of them religiously, but they have listened to certain ones, and it helps them know how to navigate life with their friend or their sister
Retreats Workshops And Local Pods
SPEAKER_00or their someone. And that is something that I think is important. Um, something else big that we've done, Michelle, is last fall in October, we had a retreat for 50 new moms.
SPEAKER_01It was just magical. Magical. The the grief and just, I mean, there was such spirit and community. It both was so palpable. It was just, I still get moved to thinking about that weekend. It was just spectacular.
SPEAKER_00I tell this something else that takes my breath away. Like you said, I'm like, it's God shut up in that bar in the way you can't explain. There are there is things that you cannot explain. And I hope that the women took tools that they learned that weekend and friendships that they made um and know that they're not alone. And I think that was the that was the the biggest goal of ours was for women to not feel alone in this grief journey. Is we feel so lucky that we have a group of warrior moms that we meet every month, um, you know, within our local North Atlanta area. And and we know that we know each other's ins and outs. Um, whether we know each other, we know each other's hearts and griefs and stuff. But the biggest takeaway was we wanted to have little pods all over in all the different cities so that way women can walk with other women that are, you know, that are walking that walk. Yeah. We're all in the same storm, we're not in the same boat. And that's where we hope that people that are in that boat ahead of us will reach back and help tug us along. Yeah, that's where we are. We want to pay it forward and help those moms.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, we've we've found our breath and our feet underneath us, and now we have a little bit more strength to help others. And I love I love that part of Woyer Moms, that it's not just, you know, here's the group, and we just look inward. It's also turning and saying, what can we do for other women? It is healing for us too. Yes, absolutely. And part of that, we have um we've created a website so you can follow along with any of the voyeur mom events that happen to, you know, pop up. Not only just our fall retreat, but then like you said earlier, we had a one-day workshop. That was really cool.
SPEAKER_00That was cool. That was cool. We have this podcast, we have um we have another retreat coming up that filled up in what, like eight days.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00I mean, like completely filled, new 15 new moms um for a weekend retreat, which is we just talked about last year's was magical, and I can only imagine this year's, you know, spreading the wings to helping those new moms spread their wings a little bit.
SPEAKER_01Um the title of the retreat is Finding the Warrior Within. And really that, you know, figuring out, I mean, that's in there, the strength is in there. Um, but by by seeing each other and and you know, stating our grief and just being a witness to each other, um, all of a sudden that warrior, you stand a little taller, and you could see that on the women when they left last year.
SPEAKER_00Oh, watching them walk in and walk out, or they were they were different women, they they were different
Nonprofit Support And Fundraiser Details
SPEAKER_00people. And I was too. I'll be honest with you. I was too.
SPEAKER_01Um, and part of what we've also created is we realized, you know, people wanted to donate and to help. One of our goals for the retreat was that no mom paid a penny to come to that three-day retreat. And it costs a lot of money to do that retreat.
SPEAKER_00But that's you know what? But we had a lot of gracious donors. Um, and we want to continue these retreats and things at a low cost to no cost, um, as often as we can. And we need we need help. We need your help. Um, and if you are a mom that is, you know, um benefited from a retreat or the podcast or anything, we do have a uh we have set up a 501c3 that is a nonprofit that you can donate tax deduct, tax deductible, tax, whatever the word is. Um so um that you can donate and help keep going. And a big event, our biggest fundraiser is Yeah, November 6th.
SPEAKER_01And to find that the donate page, it's WarriorMomS SupportFoundation.org. Pretty easy. I'll put it in the show notes. But um, yeah, you can donate directly on there or this retreat or this uh fundraiser that's coming up.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, so on Friday, Friday, November 6th, we have got um the Rainies out in Eaton, Georgia, do a singer-songwriter event every year or twice a year, and they pick beneficiaries um that get to benefit from the donations and the ticket sales and all that kind of stuff. Um, and we have been chosen for the fall singer-songwriter event. Um I think that there's um we have tables, we have individual seats that are for sale. Um, like I said, it's Friday, November 6th in Eaton, Georgia. But you can go on the website, there's a link for tickets. We would love to have you. And the the fun part is that it's called Girls Night In and Bring Your Men. Yeah, family and friends. Yeah. Family and friends, bring your family and friends. It's it's for everyone. But there's four female singer-songwriters, and the feature is um, I think it's Trisha Yearwood's song. Yes, yes, Girls Night In. Um, you'll have to listen to it. Maybe you could put the link to it in there. But uh it really, it really um showcases our strength and kind of what what warrior moms are.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and the and the fun that we have. I think that's what uh will amaze people when they come, is you know, I if if somebody doesn't know a warrior mom and decides to come to the singer-songwriters, it's you know, of course we have sad stories and there'll be moments of bittersweet, but then you'll also walk into that barn and gosh, you're gonna hear laughter and talking. And and I mean, the warrior moms, that is one incredible thing. It's a honky talk waiting to happen.
SPEAKER_00Let me tell you. We are fun. We do have fun, we do have fun. So um, you know, and that's where it's it's you can find your fun and your laughter and embrace it. Give us some opportunities.
SPEAKER_01So yeah, so we hope you could join us. That would be so incredibly fun.
SPEAKER_00And if not, um And I know we'll we'll both be there. Yeah, we'll both be there. I've already got already bought a new outfit. Woo! I know we were shopping at the beach, and I got, I was like, oh, this is a skirt. Layla found it for me. Layla's my daughter, and she found it. She's like, mom, and I was like, Oh, I can wear that at the singer-songwriter event. She went, You sure can. With a pair of boots, and so yeah, it'll be a good old time. So, like I said, my outfit ready.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I love it. Well,
Season Three Preview And Goodbye
SPEAKER_01um, season three, we are going to talk to some moms, um, really in the vein of who are we? And so getting to, you know, have them just tell who they are and their loss of their child. But then we're going to ask them, you know, all about what warrior moms has given to them, what those initial um moments of shock and and those first couple years were. And so just kind of framing this first season in um who we are and and what does this grief do to us? Yeah. I hope y'all join us next time.
SPEAKER_00Next time. It was so great to be back. Yes, it is. Thank you. It's good to see you again, Michelle. And
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