Warrior Moms: Surviving Child Loss

Season Two Kickoff: We Published a Book!

Michele Davis & Amy Durham Season 2 Episode 1

Thank you so much for listening! We'd love to hear from you---what you would love to hear, what you like, what helped, etc. With love, Warrior Moms Michele & Amy

Season two: We return after months away to share how Amy's late-night title became a finished book, how 14 grieving mothers found their voices, and how a simple idea turned into a retreat that gave hope to an entire room. We talk honestly about what it takes to write through pain—how a few fragile sentences grew into chapters filled with survival tools, trigger alerts, and small, repeatable practices that make the hardest hours more livable...all while honoring our angels.

From there, the conversation widens to community and faith. We unpack the retreat’s origin story, the curriculum we shaped from the book’s themes, and the moment so many mothers arrived with exit plans, then stayed to laugh, cry, and speak their children’s names without flinching. A hayride carried us to a quiet pond, where lantern-lit boats drifted across the water—a living ritual for memory, love, and the space grief still needs. Along the way, life kept happening: Amy's father’s illness and passing, work deadlines, school plays, and the shock of time. We are so proud of pushing through tough times to create a book and a retreat that shows how Warrior Moms survive...and thrive.

If you’ve felt alone in loss, or you support someone who is grieving, this conversation offers practical guidance, sacred pauses, and real community you can hold onto. Listen, share with a friend who needs it, and subscribe so you never miss what comes next. Your review helps other warrior moms find their people.

"Dream Bird" by Jonny Easton

Support the show

Thank you for listening to Warrior Moms podcast. It is an honor to share about our beloved children gone too soon, and we hope by telling of our loss, it may help someone in their grief journey. Please note that we are not medical professionals and encourage those listening to seek help from mental health professionals.

We'd love to hear from our followers!


Website: https://www.warriormoms.me/
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With love,
Warrior Moms Amy & Michele

SPEAKER_01:

Hello, and welcome back to Warrior Moms. I am Michelle. And I'm Amy. And I bet y'all thought that we had forgotten about y'all, but we did not forget about you. I know it's been a while. Um, maybe six months, six, seven months. Ooh.

SPEAKER_00:

All the middle school kids are groaning across the nation.

SPEAKER_01:

I know if you have kids, you know what we're talking about.

SPEAKER_00:

That is something that has come up in the last week last talk. Well, we're in our season two. This is our kickoff. Kickoff of season two. Wow.

SPEAKER_01:

I don't know that I ever thought we'd be here, really. Well, I don't know that I think I feel like I knew that we would be here because you and I are both the type. They're like, yeah, it sounds like a great idea. Yeah, that's true. Like consistency, and here we are two years later, still going. Um, yeah. More people hearing about us and yes. Needing the needing it. I think that's what keeps us going, is that knowing that there are moms out there listening to it.

SPEAKER_00:

Well, that's right. And just, you know, so you none of us feel alone. I think that is what you and I have heard over and over again in the last couple months is from the book to the website to retreat all the things that we're gonna talk about. Um I know.

SPEAKER_01:

Let's let's bring everybody up to speed on the first big thing was the book. Yes, we have a warrior mom's book. Yes, there's 14 of us that came together, blood, sweat, tears and tears and tears. Well, um, but we wrote a book. 14 of us wrote a book. We each have a chapter that talks about our child, the tragedy, but the bulk of the chapters are about how we survive, our survival skills, our strategies, you know, some about our dark days and how we have joyful days, once again.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. We we what was it three years ago now? Um one of the founding moms, Christine McHenry, that has one of the podcast episodes, she's on several. Um, she had said, let's let's do it, let's write a book. It really we talked about that we wanted a book that we wished we had, right? Yep.

SPEAKER_01:

And that's there were what 28 of us that thought were dumb enough to say, sounds like a great idea.

SPEAKER_00:

Let's do it.

SPEAKER_01:

Let's do it.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, and I'm an English teacher, and so I offered, well, I'm glad to collect them and see what we have and try to figure out you know where to go next. And um did a great job.

SPEAKER_01:

You did a great job, Michelle, doing the outline of what each chapter should hold because the chapters that you got were what slim. Oh I say people they're uh they went from like 12 sentences to 12 pages, mind being 12 pages, probably, right? Yes.

SPEAKER_00:

Um because and then other people were just yeah, most people had barely 500 words. Um and you know, it was it was those 500 words were really hard to write as it was. Um, and so I had just decided, well, you know, of course, as an English teacher, I know and knew that I could take all of us through some writing retreats and help us kind of move along through that process. And I asked the greater warrior mom group, is there anyone that wants to help me? And thank goodness you immediately said you would.

SPEAKER_01:

Here I am, here I am, three years later, still kicking with you. Um and you did stuck it out with me, huh? You stuck it out with me. Oh my gosh. I think we stuck it out with each other. Yeah, we stuck it out with each other. We all, I think all of us, all 14 of us, have our we're all different in so many ways. Um we lost our children in so many ways, we coped so many different ways. Um, and that I think that's what makes it beautiful. Um, but you did you and most of us are not writers. So you literally took a group of non-writers and made us writers. You produced, helped us to produce, and with your editing skills and and teaching skills and everything, um, something we're extremely proud of.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes. I gosh, I was just reading it um for our audio book, um, my chapter, and I got home and I just sat in bed and wanted to read everybody else's chapters again. And it's just, oh my gosh, I got so just emotional about it, just so incredibly proud of all of us because wow, we know it was hard. Um, and yet it's such important work. We've gotten such incredible feedback.

SPEAKER_01:

Do you know what I think that I've had friends that, you know, our friends have purchased the book just to support us. Yes. And I think that they I've had a couple of them actually that I think were surprised. You know, they bought it and we're gonna read my chapter, but they actually read the whole book. And and one of these ladies is not a reader, but she said I couldn't put it down.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh wow.

SPEAKER_01:

I mean, and to me, that is like the biggest compliment.

SPEAKER_00:

Absolutely. Now, especially especially when it's so sad, like for somebody, you know, still to be captivated with our stories and the way that we bring our kids to life and our strategies, you know, that we didn't just say, hey, do this, that we sh we painted a picture of how we go in our garden like you. Yeah. How we yeah. Do all the things.

SPEAKER_01:

Yes, do all the things, do all the things.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. So it the book launched on gosh, was it August 6th?

SPEAKER_01:

Yes. I think that the pre-launch started in June, right after we finished up our first season of podcast. Yes. Um, and then so from that, well, you know, the book name is Grieve Like a Mother, Survive Like a Warrior. Thank you to you and the awesome title. Oh, well, thank you. Um that's one of those things that you wake up in the middle of the night and like, that's it. That's it. And you say it out loud, and somebody else says, That's it, when we thought about it. Gosh, I stressed about it. We all stressed about it for months, and then it just it just comes. But um, so then out of the book, so you know, part of the we took forever finding publishers, and then we're like, okay, we got a publisher, and then they're like, Okay, well, you need book signing, you need book launch parties and all this. So I went to a dear friend of mine. Um, actually, I went out there on May 4th. Um, that's the day that Alec passed away. That's how it just sits. I drove out that way to stay with her for a few days. She lives on the lake. And I woke up one morning, and well, first I'd said, Can we have a um just a post-launch at the barn? Yeah. And she was like, Yeah, I'm sure you would. So then I wake up two mornings later, she's sitting on the back porch and says, We're planning a retreat today. And she is such, I know, she's such a gift, but she was intending it for be for just us.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, to fill fill the warrior mama's hearts.

SPEAKER_01:

Yes, just to fill us up after the you know, the book and all that kind of stuff. Well, then it evolved into I was like, we don't need, I don't feel like we need anything. And it evolved into we're gonna invite 50 newly bereaved mothers that have lost their children and shower them with love and and help grow them a community. Let them know that they are not alone in this journey, because that is one of the biggest things I think that we get from this podcast is saying, I'm not alone. And I think that's where we get our strength is from each other learning that we are not alone.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

And you're like, oh my god, that happened to me too, or I feel the same way. Or I mean, yeah. I know you and I say it all the time together. So anyway, so and then the first phone call. So Amy and I are sitting there, and I said, Well, um, I need to call Michelle because she can write the curriculum.

SPEAKER_00:

Um, and the phone call was one of the cutest phone calls I think I've ever received. You were like you. I just you said, I know you're not gonna understand anything, but I just want you to listen. And I was like, I mean, okay. All I could hear is all of the three of you. At that point, it was Mike Rainey, who owns the barn, Amy, your friend, and you and all of you were brainstorming about this just incredible event that you guys had dreamed up.

SPEAKER_01:

Going wild crazy, yes. But like I said, it was oh I did. I said, You're not gonna shampoo. Can you write the curriculum? Because you and I have always that was one of those far-off dreams, you know, like thoughts. Yes, yes, that you never think is gonna come to fruition. Yeah, how could we make it happen? Yeah, how is that gonna happen? But we knew it was needed, so I'm gonna let you take it from there.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, well, and I think Amy, you you in the midst of all this incredible fun planning, you had to deal with some really hard days and heartache, and um I did, I did, I did.

SPEAKER_01:

So we went on our family vacation in June, the first full week of June, and then two weeks later, my father was went to the hospital. He then had a massive heart attack. Um, he had been sick since February with pulmonary fibrosis. Anyway, I'm not gonna go into all the details, but he was in and out of the hospital pretty much all summer. Um, and then when he would go home, my mom needed help taking care of him and stuff like that. And he was getting so much better. And then um on October 21st, he passed away. So it it was a yes, this summer, you know, and that's when it's one of those things where and I'm gonna say this out loud for the world to hear because I've said it to you, I've said it to Jeff, but I said during those months, though, it was probably what June, July, August, September, five months. Yeah, during those five months, I was my husband, Jeff, and I, we were praying different prayers for your about your dad. For my dad. About my dad, about all of it. And not that that's wrong. And if this had been someone else's dad, I would have been like, well, it's praytime.

SPEAKER_00:

But it yeah, what I learned in the want him to be out of suffering and so forth, right?

SPEAKER_01:

Yes, yes, but I wasn't ready. Like my sister and I, we were on the phone all the time telling my mom what to do because she was just in survival mode taking care of daddy, you know, and not telling her what to do in a bad way, but trying to figure out what was going on, what we could do, how we could do it, what doctors we needed to see, you know. On the phone with you, asking, tell ask Jeremy, blah blah blah, you know? And so, but yes, so that, you know, and when you when you deal with grief and you, you know, we've dealt with the ultimate grief, but it still doesn't make it easier. But I do think that it helped me through this process, and for now I know how to deal with grief.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, and you know, uh you I mean, like you talk about it in your chapter about seeing your trigger signs, right? Knowing knowing what those are and your red flags, like when am I when am I in depression? When when do I need to talk to you?

SPEAKER_01:

Well, and like I had just told Jeff earlier this week. I mean, because you know, we in the midst of all this, like you said, we've planned a retreat. Um and um when then he passes, and then we do the funeral, and then you know, we have to help mom with which my mom is completely capable, but yeah, and you're it's just a lot. Yeah, it's just a lot, you know. But and then we had the retreat and all this, and what's all that, so I never really had the official grievance time.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh, I mean you were just I mean, truly running. I mean, it was Yes.

SPEAKER_01:

And then I have a daughter that was the lead in the play, and then yes, you know, so it's rehearsals, it's costumes, it's yes, just running, running, running. So this week has kind of been the first time that I've been able to just be and get back into work and get all that. It's it is, it's heavy, and I and like you said, it because I have worked all these tools and I've done all of this through, you know, writing the chapter and reading everybody else's and doing all of that, I'm still not prepared for it. No, but I I am prepared for it. Does that make sense? I have a tool bag and I know what tools to start pulling out. Earlier this week, what I was gonna say is I started feeling those um my depression's on its way at the end. Yeah, I feel it. And so I've had to really be, you know, I gave myself a day or two, yeah, sleep in or go take naps and do what my grieving body does. Um but I'm like, okay, it's time.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. Yeah, and it's just doesn't mean you won't be back in the bed feeling sad about things, but you know you're gonna give yourself grace, give yourself that time, and then simultaneously put one foot in frother frother, one frother, one foot in front of the other, and and okay, jump into life again.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

You know, it just all sucks though. I know. It just I mean it's just all of it. It's the missing, it's just the missing. I mean, yeah, I had some teacher friends over, um and they were they were the teachers, the the school when that I was working at when Carter died. Okay. And so then they knew Carter. Of course, they were the ones that um got the text from me that said Carter's dead. I need people, please get to Roswell, um, since we didn't have family here. And so they they have just, you know, literally breathed life back into me. And the one of my friends was like, gosh, you know, how old is Blue, which was Carter's dog? And I was like, Oh gosh, let me think. Let's see. And all of us, you could just see like all of us choking the tears back because it was like, oh my gosh, Carter's been gone nine. Yeah, got the dog the year before, so he was 10, but the dog was already, you know, a year old. So the dog's 11 years old. And it just hit me sitting and visiting with him because it was just like, oh, I mean talking about a stupid dog. Yeah, and it was 11 years ago, and of course, it's not about the dog, but it's about the dog. Right.

SPEAKER_01:

You were talking about a dog. It was an honest question that nobody, not even you, thought was gonna come out.

SPEAKER_00:

Right. And it just cannot be possible that it's that it's that's what's weird.

SPEAKER_01:

We're all growing, we're all I say I'm growing out instead of up. We do that from time to time. Growing out, there's no hope in growing up anymore. But it's just you know, it's it's surreal. It is for sure to think about and just you know, like Greta. I mean, she's turned into a beautiful young lady. Just getting ready to head to college. I can't believe it. Hadn't even lost all of her baby teeth.

SPEAKER_00:

I know, and here we are. Yeah, it's just wild. But I just think about the season that you just went through and gonna continue over this next couple years with missing your dad, and of course, continuing to miss Alec. And yet at the same time, we have all this new celebration and joy with our book and the success of the retreat. Um, the feedback, I know you had texted me that was it Sunday or Monday after, I guess it would have to be Monday after the retreat.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, because I slept for like 10 hours on Sunday. I didn't even drop back. It was dark when I woke up. It was I was exhausted.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

But yeah, so it was probably Monday, but I just continuous and my number one prayer for all these women was number one that they found connection. And I think yours too. I'm not gonna speak for you, but I have a feeling we were we're in the same page of a lot of this, and you can add to it in just a minute. But the biggest prayer that I think that we had for them in going into the retreat was they would find community, that they would find others like them that they can sit and talk about their children with and not feel like ashamed. Yeah, yeah. Or that like, oh my god, I'm making them sad, or they don't want to hear about this, because you know, people squirm in their chairs whenever you start talking about your child and they know he's passed away and you're talking about him like he's here, and you know, it's just you flip from past tense to present tense, and yes, yes, and then you also need to talk about the trauma too.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes, um, and that that's hard, like you said, the squirming that people do in their seats of natural. We don't blame anybody for it, but and yeah, that prayer uh just and gosh, was that a resounding Jesus showed up in that barn.

SPEAKER_01:

My goodness, and I told Jev, and I'm sure you told Jeremy too, but I was so glad that he was there to witness it because you could not I don't care what you say.

SPEAKER_00:

Mm-mm.

SPEAKER_02:

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01:

It it's not you can't explain it.

SPEAKER_00:

But Jesus showed up and sacred, and I mean, every single warrior mom and volunteer and you know, Mike and Kathy that owned the barn. I mean, every single person just had a very they were all supposed to be there and was all it was just this synergy, it was just incredible.

SPEAKER_01:

That's what it was. Everybody was together and just wanting and thirsty. And there was some you know, messages that I saw it was something I didn't know I needed, yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

But you know, but gosh, it was just been a good thing. And that I and you know, we talked about how we watched the moms walk in tentative and even teary-eyed, and a couple of them had said, I don't know if I'm gonna make it through the whole weekend, but I'm really gonna try. Yeah. And by Friday night, they had already had friends and were laughing and talking.

SPEAKER_01:

How many did you hear? Okay, so walking in. I'm just thought about this when you said that. Walking in, how many women did you hear that already had their exit planned?

SPEAKER_00:

Oh gosh, I'm sure.

SPEAKER_01:

Well, I've got this and this this weekend. Yeah. Like walking in the door. I might have to leave tomorrow because my niece's brother, sister's dog is having a baby shower, you know. I mean, yeah. I mean, yeah, that wasn't one of them, but it was yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

I mean, and life was continuing on for everyone, of course, back home. But it was that um I'm you know, uh, all of us, I can only imagine going to something like that in those first couple years of losing Carter, that um that I I would do the exact same thing. Like what what can I say to leave?

SPEAKER_01:

I don't know that I would have shown up, Michelle.

SPEAKER_00:

Well, yeah. I I maybe would have. I mean I think you're yeah, you're I mean, but you know, having people invite you personally, um I think that really helped. And now that it's the first one, people have seen pictures and yep, you know, heard stories and they're they're just playing. Well, and I think you're having the next one.

SPEAKER_01:

And I think one of the biggest successes, too, is how many women left saying, I'm going back to my area and we're gonna start our own warrior mom's group.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes. And that I feel so empowered and I feel lighter, and of course, the sadness is still there. There's there's no oh no escape.

SPEAKER_01:

No, but you gave it a space, you allowed it space to live with you.

SPEAKER_00:

And I I just like just for the listeners, I think about um that, you know, the getting that Saturday evening when we all got on the um hay rides and we're all in our turquoise t-shirts that you design, you know, that said voyeur moms, and and we're in two big hay rides on tractors, you know, going through the farm and get to that little pond um and have beautiful music playing, and everybody's lighting their boat luminaries into that pond. I mean, wow, it was fantastic.

SPEAKER_01:

Well, and it was it was so funny because we were we were getting on that hay ride and it was a good old time. We were laughing and cutting up and having all time. Yes, it was just like we were at a we were kids, it was a fall festival, you know, just a normal normal fall festival with friends, and then like you said, we got down there to the luminaries and it was it was quiet again.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, and it was a moment. It was just spectacular. I mean, I I just it it really was sacred. I mean, to you know, just that quiet space and people holding hands and hugging and quietly kind of singing, and uh, it was just beautiful. I mean, there were so many moments like that. It was magical. I was so proud of all of us, every single one of us, yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Every one of them. So altogether, there was probably, I would say, including us and I say us, like the original warrior moms that were like table leads and you know, running the show, so to speak, um, or guiding them through the weekend, whatever you want to call it. Um, I think that I counted 65 probably warriors. And then we probably, gosh, the volunteers were a plethora of volunteers throughout the weekend coming in from the East.

SPEAKER_00:

26, 28, maybe, and then all the host fam, you know, the host house. Yes.

SPEAKER_01:

Well, I think that you and I could go on and on and on and on about. But I mean bottom line is obviously we loved it. We loved it, but the bottom line is that Jesus showed up big time.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_01:

In ways that we couldn't have even no began to create.

SPEAKER_00:

And how amazing for us to be touching on like all of the mom's books and their chapters and um different strategies throughout the weekend, um, so that you know, people left with some extra tools that they could tap into.

SPEAKER_01:

So pretty exciting. And they spoke out loud. Some of them had don't speak the story often.

SPEAKER_00:

No.

SPEAKER_01:

And that, like you said at the beginning of this podcast, it is healing in itself. Yeah, it it is the last day on Sunday. What did we do?

SPEAKER_00:

So what did we do on that Sunday? Oh my gosh, it was so cool. We had a podcast where everyone was all the grieving moms were in um rows, like conference style. And Amy, you and I had a podcast with everyone.

SPEAKER_01:

It was great. And we had all 14 moms up there on a panel on the panel to answer the questions so that way they got, you know, people different places. Yes. So it was really, I thought it was really fun. Oh my gosh. We had a live podcast. Well, it wasn't live, it was recorded live. Yes, how do we say that?

SPEAKER_00:

Oh, yeah. Recorded live. That's right. That's it. Um, yeah, so that'll be our next podcast, as you'll get um to hear what that QA panel podcast was. It was um the moms, you know, the the premise of it was, you know, what after this weekend of spending time together, what what do you want to know from the Warrior moms? And so it's some insight into just what people would like to ask any of the moms that wrote the book.

SPEAKER_01:

And we did have microphones and stuff like that. So I'm anxious to hear.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes, me too. So that'll be coming out too. So I'm so excited. So, Amy, where can where can everybody get the book?

SPEAKER_01:

Well, they can Amazon, Amazon Foreman, Barnes and Barnes and our website, which is warriormoms.me. Um, you can find all of our podcasts, you can find the where to order that. You can sign up, um, get on the wait list or retreat, get fill out a form to be on our podcast. Um, or if you have a topic for a podcast, send us an email. There's a way to send us an email. So you know, we we can talk all day about whatever we want, right? Um, but we want to we want to we want to know what y'all want to hear. Do y'all want to hear more stories of you know, us interviewing people? Do you want us to focus more on certain topics um and just have different people talk about that? Yeah, I mean, we just kind of in a mix of it all. Yeah, a mix of it, just to surprise you. Like, you know, sometimes we're surprised at what we talk about. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Well, and there's a place if you want Amy and I to come um and to speak. We have had several speaking engagements that have just been really successful and cool. Um, I have one next week at a conference, so I'm excited at the Gasbo, it's called Georgia Georgia Association of School Business Officials. Oh. Yes, they saw me on American Idol. Heard the story of Carter's passing and the song that Slater wrote and all of that. Um, but it's it's really cool. I'm talking about um how grief can help remind all of us about why we are in education. Oh wow. So even though they may not have lost any, you know, a child, obviously we all carry grief. So, anyway, all that to say is that also on our website is there's a place for if you would like us to come speak. We would love to do that.

SPEAKER_01:

We would love to do it. We would love to do it, and we're not all sad. No, funny, yes, funny, Michelle's. I agree with that. We have a good time, that's for sure. We do have a good time, but we do hit on a lot of serious topics, so we try to not make it yeah, we balance it, I think, pretty well. Balance, that's the best word. Well, yeah, we sure have missed being on here though.

SPEAKER_00:

I know it's so fun, and um I guess I'll I'll post this and then next week everyone will get to hear the panel from the retreat. And um one of the things one of the moms suggested that I thought was really cool, Amy. I don't even know if I had texted you about it, but was to have the retreat table moms. So the warrior mom plus all of the grieving new warrioms um get on by their table color. So like the orange group would all do, and you and I would interview them just about kind of their takeaways, both from the book um and retreat and things. And so we might do that. Never know. That's fun.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. Because I do, I love hearing new voices, yes, you know, and not just the sound of their voice, but yeah, feelings and thoughts and You know, because we all we are all in this what what is the saying? We're all in the same storm storm, but we are in different boats.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes.

SPEAKER_01:

That's a I have never heard that. Isn't that funny? Yeah. I'm surprised. You hear all the good stuff. Yeah, but I mean, yeah, we're all in the same storm, but yeah, we're in different boats. Yeah, all different experiences for sure. Sometimes I feel like I'm on a raft made of popsicle sticks.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes. Oh my gosh. That was me last week. Whoa.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Popsicle sticks break, right? I underwater last week, for sure. Well, just exhausted, but just getting back to it. Yeah, back to it. Well, season two, new book, website, retreat. Gosh, we've got a lot of really cool stuff. Yes. And you never know what will come next. I know. Well, until next time, everyone.

SPEAKER_01:

Talk to y'all later. Bye bye.