Warrior Moms: Surviving Child Loss
A club no one wants to be in because the initiation is too big of a sacrifice: the loss of a child. Unthinkable. Unimaginable. Warrior Moms is local group in north Atlanta filled with strong, courageous, funny, and fiercely loving women who are surviving and thriving amidst horrific grief.
This podcast features Amy Durham and Michele Davis, two of the Warrior Moms, who will guide listeners through their grief journey. Every fourth or fifth episode will showcase another Warrior Mom, the trauma they endured, stories about their beloved child, and tips on how they get out of bed every day.
Each and every Warrior Moms' story is different, the children and the loss is different, but one thing they share is the decision to live. They have figured out how to live life putting one foot in the past and the other moving forward. Yes, it's beyond awful. Yes, it's hard. Yes, it's worth it. And yes, they say, you can survive child loss AND thrive.
Warrior Moms: Surviving Child Loss
Robyn (Noe) Willis -- Love After Child Loss
What happens when grief and love collide? Robyn and Bart's powerful story answers this question with extraordinary grace and honesty.
When Robyn lost her children Shaun and Morgan in a devastating house fire, she never imagined finding love again. Yet a year after the fire, she found herself on a dating app, boldly telling a stranger named Bart about the worst night of her life. "I come with no things, but I come with a lot of baggage," she admits with characteristic candor. Rather than running, Bart listened with compassion that would become the hallmark of their relationship.
Their journey defies conventional wisdom about grief and relationships. Bart fell deeply in love not just with Robyn, but with Shaun and Morgan too—children he would never physically meet but whose presence became integral to their family life. Meanwhile, Bart's young daughter Isabelle embraced them as her "bonus brother and sister," asking questions about them and carrying their stories forward in the most beautiful way.
The most remarkable aspect of Robyn and Bart's relationship is their authentic approach to balancing joy and sorrow. They've created space for both celebration and remembrance, exemplified in their Disney wedding where Shaun and Morgan's photos adorned Robyn's bouquet. As Robyn puts it, "We're a family of five and we'll always be a family of five, but only getting to celebrate earthly things as a family of three is sad."
Their story offers profound lessons about resilience, honest communication, and finding purpose through pain. They've established a foundation in Shaun and Morgan's names, with even young Isabelle participating in their mission to educate others about fire safety. Through it all, they've maintained a steadfast faith that guides them, with Robyn's mantra becoming Bart's strength: "They wouldn't want me to quit."
Ready to be inspired? Listen now and discover how two people found extraordinary love after unimaginable loss, proving that hearts can expand to hold both grief and joy—sometimes in the very same moment.
"Dream Bird" by Jonny Easton
Thank you for listening to Warrior Moms podcast. It is an honor to share about our beloved children gone too soon, and we hope by telling of our loss, it may help someone in their grief journey. Please note that we are not medical professionals and encourage those listening to seek help from mental health professionals.
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Website: https://www.warriormoms.me/
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With love,
Warrior Moms Amy & Michele
Hello and welcome back to Warrior Moms.
Speaker 2:I am Michelle Davis.
Speaker 1:And I am Amy Durham and we are so glad y'all are back with us again on this episode. We're honored to have Robin no Willis back with us. We learned about her two children who passed in the house fire five and a half years ago now, and her new husband. It's going to be a different kind of episode and different kind of insight into a whole different kind of world. Bart's a stepdad who had two children that he actually never physically met, but I know that he knows them as if he raised them at this point. So I can't wait to hear their story and how they've navigated this journey together. All right, guys, y'all want to introduce yourselves and tell us a little bit about how you met.
Speaker 3:Sure, I am Robin, formerly no Willis now, and I'm here with my wonderful husband Bart.
Speaker 4:I'm Bart.
Speaker 3:Hey, Bart so we met.
Speaker 2:Yeah, give us a little background of what happened to Sean and Morgan. You have an episode, of course, but just a little tie-in to that and then how y'all met.
Speaker 3:Okay, so I lost Sean and Morgan five and a half years ago in an overnight house fire. A master was on the main and the kids' rooms were upstairs. And 2.30 in the morning no one woke up and I couldn't get upstairs to get them, and by the time the police and fire department showed up it was just beyond being able to save them.
Speaker 2:It's just, I mean, every time I hear the story, it just I immediately am choked up and you're such an inspiration to all of us warrior moms, because you are a fierce little lady, for sure, and you just you emit joy, and so that's. We want to tap into that today, and how you navigated, being shattered, and you somehow found love. So take us to where that really began the love part or the shattered part. You might start kind of shattered to the love.
Speaker 3:So, yes, obviously you know, walked out of the house with the clothes on my back and lost my children and lost my pets, and lost my children, and lost my pets, and lost my things and lost my just everything. I mean, you know, things aren't important, but when you're trying to restart life and all you have is a pair of yoga pants and a tank top on your body like it's, it's hard. I mean not even having a cell phone to where you have passwords that you need to remember to try to get back into accounts, to prove who you are and try to pick the pieces up and start over and I don't know. Just like I've always told y'all time and time again, I taught my children that you do not give up. And what a hypocrite I would be if I had just laid down and gave up on life. So, days and weeks and months afterwards, I just kept trying to live a life that they would be proud of.
Speaker 3:So I showed up for cheerleading. Still I showed up for baseball. Still, I showed up at school events. I just kept trying to go. I showed up at work until they kicked us all out for COVID and sent us all home. So in the midst of all that, I tried to still be around family and still be around friends as much as we could. I met our warrior mom's group and that was that was probably the most therapeutic thing next to being around Sean and Morgan's friends for me, so got me back out into socializing and possibly dating again, which sounded terrible at the time.
Speaker 1:Remember at one of the warrior mom's meeting. I still remember sitting there and I know I've told you this before, but you go, I think I'm ready to start dating again. But I mean, how do you explain this? And like you just kind of put your hands up at a warrior mom's meeting, like how do I explain this, you know? And I was like, yeah, I get it.
Speaker 3:I come with no things, but I come with a lot of baggage. So here's all my good cases.
Speaker 2:That is a giant quote. That's amazing, wow.
Speaker 3:So yeah, bart and I met on Hinge, actually as a dating site, which I don't know if it was a new world too, because you don't just meet people in person anymore, especially during COVID. So we started talking and I don't know if I should tell this part or if I should let Bart tell this part.
Speaker 3:Maybe we both can, but y'all, know me, I'm pretty honest from the get go and I just kind of throw it all out there. I don't remember if it was one of our first or second conversations, but I basically just said this is who I am and this is what happened to me and this is where I stand now and this is all the mess that I come with. And Bart, what did?
Speaker 1:you hear on your side? What did you hear when she said all of that?
Speaker 4:I just listened.
Speaker 4:I feel like I'm a compassionate person in the first place and when she told me that I mean my heart just broke, because this is somebody that I instantly connected with and to hear that it was very tough, it was very and, just to be honest, it was a little bit of guardedness by me to say, okay, hold on. This is like the first conversation that we've had and she's telling me this, so I appreciated the honesty I did and I felt heartbroken. It wasn't sure if at that time, she was actually ready, because it was a very quick process, but here we are.
Speaker 1:Here you are. Like you said, you appreciated that openness and rawness at the very beginning. Had she waited three or four dates, would you have been like why didn't you? Because I just know, as somebody probably starting to date, it's hard to let that out and I know Robin's very bold, but she doesn't mind it.
Speaker 4:Absolutely. Yeah, no, I would have. I expected that out of her. I'm an honest person and I expect that up front. I've given her everything that I have from day one, so I believe that I'm glad that she did that. I'm glad that we didn't have to wait.
Speaker 2:So it was very good. Were you all in person, or were you on the phone or texting? How did that all come together?
Speaker 4:Yeah, I think we were texting at the time and then you mentioned that and we actually were on the phone, if I'm not mistaken, and we talked about it. So it was. It was. It was different.
Speaker 2:And then where'd you go from there? How do you end that phone call with OK, so movies tomorrow.
Speaker 1:Yeah, have a great night so movies tomorrow.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you have a great night, we actually. So we talked on the phone for probably about two weeks before our first date. We started talking the first week and his daughter isabel they were on a 50 50 schedule, so the second week we were talking he had his daughter the whole week. So obviously that didn't work for us to go on a date yet. Obviously we weren't ready to introduce me to her at that point. We hadn't even met yet.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he didn't know if he catfished him or not.
Speaker 4:Right, we had not met yet, but we had deeply met with the whole conversation.
Speaker 1:A thousand percent yes.
Speaker 2:You really said that before you met.
Speaker 3:Absolutely.
Speaker 4:Yes.
Speaker 3:Our first date was October 1st of 2020. So it was four days before Sean and Morgan's first Angelversary. So he got me at a really messy time and still managed to have some joy and some fun. And he saw some really rough days after that first date but was there and we talked and we hung out and we got through all that second year firsts that are just super crummy, like I was telling somebody today that that first year is hard but that second year is just, I don't know, earth shattering to me All the things that you do.
Speaker 3:Second year is worse than the first. So, and that was our first year dating and we made it through it.
Speaker 1:Wow, you can make it through anything.
Speaker 4:It was easy.
Speaker 3:It was how old to run him off after that first date was I don't know it's true because you're you.
Speaker 1:That's why yeah exactly because you are you yes you?
Speaker 2:How old was Isabel when you all met? No, she was let's see it was.
Speaker 3:October of 2020. So she was five. She turned six December after we started dating.
Speaker 1:Okay, and how was that for you the first time you met Isabel? What was?
Speaker 3:it. Y'all have now met Isabel, so you can see that she is easy to love.
Speaker 1:So how can you not love that girl? She was completely just like yeah, and it honestly didn't take us long to tell her about Sean and Morgan either.
Speaker 3:She I didn't hide pictures, I didn't hide anything. So obviously she saw, she saw kids, but she never saw kids. So like she asked questions pretty pretty early on and Bart had that conversation with her and then we had that conversation with her.
Speaker 3:Like I said, it wasn't the first time I talked to her for her, but you know it was, it was pretty early on, after meeting her, that we told her and she now you know, she knows they're her bonus brother and sister and we talk about them and share experiences with her and she remembers stories and she'll bring up stories about them, do you?
Speaker 3:remember the time you told me about Morgan doing this or Sean doing that. Oh my gosh, what a joy. So she's got her first softball game this coming Saturday and she asked me in the car because she's nervous about it. She said was Sean nervous for his first game? And I told her that he was three. Probably not, but you know he goes right around the curtain caps.
Speaker 3:But you know but she relates to them a lot and shares stories and just talks about them with us. So she's a good one, she's easy to love, she brings a lot of joy, a lot of brightness oh my gosh yes.
Speaker 1:That makes that just. I mean that has to fill your heart, both of you that number one part that you have such a, that you contributed to such a beautiful soul and those first five years, six years before she even met Robin. Just you, you guys, really, what would you guys say?
Speaker 2:is what would you guys say is the most challenging part of that of carrying your grief. Now, bart, you're in love with someone that has this huge part of her missing and, like you said, it broke your heart. What are some of the challenges with that? You want me to? Yeah, go ahead.
Speaker 3:You can join in. I think mine is still experiencing life with Isabel as a child and getting to be parts of her firsts and her. You know different things and back to school days and Christmases and birthdays and all of that stuff. And while it's so joyful to get to see it through a child's eyes again, like there's still that sadness that Sean and Morgan aren't here to participate with it, to do the things with us as a family. Now, even if we were still they were at their dad's or she's at her mom's or you know whatever. Like it's still gonna be, like we're not getting to do this together at some point. You know, I mean we're a family of five and we'll always be a family of five, but only getting to celebrate earthly things as a family of three is is sad. I mean, even when you're having those joyous days with Isabel, like there's still that sadness of Sean and Morgan not being here. That's probably the hardest thing for me and I don't know.
Speaker 1:It's not hard for you to understand.
Speaker 4:I'm on a completely opposite spectrum, because for me it's it's unbelievable to love someone so much that you never met, like. I look at them all the time and I get. I get emotional. I probably will now, but I get emotional just thinking about them and how much I would have loved to have been in part of their life when they were actually here, and that's that's a big deal to me. I'm a very loving person and I've actually looking around at pictures in the room right now of them. It's very hard to not be able to just hug them and it's something that I'll never get to do until I get to heaven, and I can't wait for that day.
Speaker 1:I'm in love with you.
Speaker 2:Too bad, he's mine how did I know you? You know as part of you know, asking Robin to marry her. You and the wedding. You did some really special things to include Sean and Morgan in your special, beautiful day we did.
Speaker 3:we have always included them. When we do like family pictures of some sort I mean maybe not every single one of them, but like professional style pictures we always take a picture with them or picture of them with us and include it in parts of the family pictures we still do ones of just me and Bart, or just me, bart and Isabel, or just him and Isabel or whatever, and just me and my kids picture. You know, we do different things to still include them because they are, they're forever included in our life and in our family. And just because they're not here on earth with us doesn't mean that they're not forever going to be a part of the conversation and a part of our life and share in memories with us, just in different ways.
Speaker 2:Yes, absolutely so. I just remember that beautiful picture of you and your wedding dress and the beautiful turquoise colors that you guys had on, and Sean and Morgan being right there.
Speaker 3:Yep, and my dad and stepmom and sister had gifted us with a little pennant that I had on my bouquet that had Sean and Morgan's picture of it on it, and then my grandfather who had passed away his picture, so they are all still there with us.
Speaker 2:That is so special, and how do your friends handle this new relationship, this new family and still being able to include Sean and Morgan and so forth?
Speaker 3:My friends are super accepting because, of course, the majority of my friends knew Sean and Morgan and were part of Sean and Morgan and so forth. My friends are super accepting because, of course, the majority of my friends knew Sean and Morgan and were part of Sean and Morgan's life. And to see Bart come in and just like, wholeheartedly accept, like all of me and all of Sean and all of Morgan, and embrace it, you know, in our messiness and in our joyfulness, you know that he's there and he steps up and helps me when I need it and steps aside and lets me have my moments when I need it. You know so. So my friends were I mean, they're on board from from day one but now his friends, I don't know, I'll let him talk. They're all great. They absolutely the first time they met Robin.
Speaker 4:They fell in love with her and then they knew the story as well, because at first I talked to a lot of friends to find out. You know, hey, you know, am I? You know what is my path down this according to you guys, and I already knew what my path was going to be period, yeah, yeah, they're all very, very accepting of the story, very accepting of everything that's happened and of Robin. I mean you just love her when you meet her. So I mean my parents are fantastic. I mean they took Shawna Morgan and like their own, I mean, and that's fantastic. So everybody is, they all understand what we're doing and what we're going through and support that's what they're here for.
Speaker 2:Yeah, what would you say to other grieving moms, Robin, in terms of how you walk down this path? I mean, obviously being honest, but just navigating those gosh, that first year of dating and, like you said, all of those grief moments what do you do? How do you talk about that with somebody that you're just meeting and getting to know?
Speaker 3:I don't know if I'm the right one to give advice, because you know me, I just talk, but I don't know. I mean honesty has always just kind of been my policy, like you get me for who I am and you like it or you don't, and the messiness that comes with me now is just always there. I mean, I didn't have a problem talking to Bart's friends the first time I met him and asked about the fire and when we were starting to set up the foundation, asking about the foundation, and Bart was right in the midst of helping set up the foundation. We'd already been dating for probably a year before we really got gung ho about getting the foundation set up for Sean and Morgan and so that part he's been with, you know, the whole time.
Speaker 3:So he's understood that aspect of figuring things out and dealing with the joy of setting something up, the grief of having to set something up, the joy that comes with giving back, but the grief that comes with the reason that we're giving back. So I mean he's he the reason that we're giving back. So I mean he's he's made all those steps with me. You know he, I'm sure he doesn't. You know, his thoughts on the background are probably different than mine and I mean that's, that's fine. He comes with a different level of support than what I show up with sometimes and but we carry each other, we balance each other and you know, and I just feel like that's you just kind of figure it out along the way.
Speaker 3:I mean, if you're talking to somebody or dating somebody and you know it's not the right person, then just move on, you know. But when you find that person that you connect with and that you truly feel something for, I just feel like it's easier to have those open, honest conversations about what you're going through and the thoughts and feelings that you're having that day. Conversations about what you're going through and the thoughts and feelings that you're having that day, and I mean even now. I mean I can just come home and I can be like this stupid song came on the radio today and I'm just in my feels and he's like Okay, what do you want to do? You want to talk about it? Do you want to go do something? Do you want to go to bed?
Speaker 3:I never want to go to bed, but but, you know, just like do you want to go sit on the porch? Like, do you want to have dinner? Do you want to sit in silence? Like he just lets me call the shots on those days. And you know he has bad days too. It may not necessarily be because of Sean and Morgan, but I mean it could be and we've just learned to help each other through the bad days and have fun on the good days.
Speaker 4:And the days that those things happen, we just figure it out 100, 100.
Speaker 2:That's what we do. And, bart, what do you do about your sadness? You talked about being choked up, wishing you could hug them, and, of course, robin carries huge, enormous grief, but you're carrying grief too. What do you do to process through that?
Speaker 4:It's the same thing. She knows me so well that she just knows when I'm feeling it. And when I'm feeling it and when I'm getting into that, we talk about it and we just talk it out and we hang out. That's the main thing. It's like we just want to hang out all the time and for us that is a coping mechanism, for both of us. I mean, it's just, it helps so much just to look at her and she knows what I'm going through. So it's immediate. She understands, and that's my outlet is Robin, so I mean she's always there for me, I'm always there for her, no matter what, and that's just the way we are.
Speaker 3:How did you get? Yeah, how did you get?
Speaker 1:by hanging out and talking to each other, that's what I thought you were going to say Just talking, open communication.
Speaker 4:Yeah, from day one, I think from official date one. It was like we sat down and we just connected that's awesome and I knew what had happened and I knew all the thoughts and everything that she had on it and how honest she was. But it just was normal we were two common people. But it was it just. It just was normal we were, we were two common people, and, and it was amazing. It was a connection immediately.
Speaker 2:So pretty cool, I think it's. I think it's pretty just, as I'm listening, I mean it's, um, I'm just in awe, truly, of just just both of your hearts. I mean I'm literally looking at two humans that your hearts were meant to be together. Yeah, it's just so inspiring and it's, I think, that just being able to say exactly what you're saying, like here's how I'm feeling, and then, Bart, you're like, okay, well, what do you need? You need this, do you need that? Do you need this? I mean that is such incredible advice on all parts of our life, right?
Speaker 3:Yes, and I mean we both started dating with the full intention that we never wanted to get married again. He was a lot newer out of divorce than I was. I had been divorced for seven years when I lost Sean and Morgan. So I had dated here and there, but obviously nothing serious. Nothing clicked that I wanted long-term with. So I was just kind of if something happens it'll be fun and if I meet somebody and connect with them that's awesome. But it was still full fledged. I'm not doing that marriage thing again and like I said, he was more newly divorced.
Speaker 4:Just a few months out, yeah Well that was a red flag right there.
Speaker 1:That never should have worked.
Speaker 4:It was almost immediate, like we both looked at each other. We're like, we're not. We're not doing this again. Let's just. Let's just enjoy each other.
Speaker 3:Love it, which is why we dated for three and a half plus years as an older couple dating before we got married, because we just we knew we loved each other. We knew we wanted to be together forever, but we were still just like ooh like you didn't mean it yeah so what changed?
Speaker 2:like what, what? What was it, bart, that you were like, okay, I might want to do something about it?
Speaker 1:I might want to put a ring on. It is what he said.
Speaker 4:That's right, I mean it's, it's your best friend. I mean she, she is what he said, that's right, that's right. I mean it's, it's your best friend. I mean she, she is my best friend and there's nobody else at that point that I wanted to be with and and I will ever want to be with. So I mean it, just, it, just I don't, I can't explain it. It was just immediate, like when, when it hit, I think we knew for the longest everything together we're doing, you know so I think it just became a joke at that point yeah we're never gonna get married yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely
Speaker 2:um, and your wedding tell us about. That was like a really neat surprise and um, you guys tell us all about.
Speaker 3:Well, we got engaged on Thanksgiving of 2023. That was really cute. He involved Isabel in it and I had no idea. And I really thought that if he was going to ask me, I would figure out the clues and I would know it was kind of coming and no complete shock. Like you can watch the video, you can watch my face, you can listen to background, like no idea. No, I'm the worst at secrets. Watch my face, you can listen to it, it's not bad Background, like no idea.
Speaker 3:No, and I'm the worst at secrets, so so Isabel had actually kind of started it and said that she wanted to go around the room and say what everybody was thankful for. And we had just done this a few nights ago, sitting on the porch with just us. So I literally thought nothing of it when she started this conversation at actual Thanksgiving dinner. And so she just said I'm thankful for Miss Robin and gosh, I can't even remember.
Speaker 4:One day she'll be my bonus mom.
Speaker 3:Yes, and then turned around and I didn't even notice. I was hugging her and everybody's like hitting me on the shoulder and making these crazy eyes and I turn around, barks down on one knee and so yeah, full fledged shock, full fledged tears, like no idea, heck yeah, yes, absolutely, it was a good Thanksgiving.
Speaker 3:It was, it was a very good Thanksgiving. So then, even then we didn't know what we wanted to do. Like we had made the joke that we were just going to go to the courthouse and get married, like we would have a party with everybody later. Parents did not like that answer as much as we did, so we knew we were going to have to figure out something. But we've both done the big weddings and we were looking to buy a house and we were. We were adulting for some reason and making more wise and financial decisions and not wanting to spend tens of thousands of dollars on a wedding again. And so, yeah, just I don't know, we kept going back and forth about what to do. We had just bought the house that we're in now in February of last year, so we said, well, let's do a backyard wedding, and so we started talking about that and even that started adding up and we're going to have to invite this person.
Speaker 3:If we invite that person, we've got to invite this person. So this small guest list turned into this huge guest list, and now we're back spending tens of thousands of dollars on a wedding again. So we had kind of just put the idea to the side for a little while and said we'll figure that out later. But we had already planned a Disney trip and we were sitting there talking about planning our days and you know I'm a planner so we had day one we were doing parks.
Speaker 1:Day two we were doing parks and we're wearing this outfit, absolutely, and we're wearing this outfit, which I like.
Speaker 3:Absolutely. And then Wednesday was going to be a rest day and hang out at the resort, go to the pools, whatever. Thursday we were back at the parks. Friday we were back at the parks. Saturday we were coming home. So we were just sitting on the porch one night, like we do, chit-chatting and talking about what was going to happen.
Speaker 4:And I get one of these. Hey, how much do you love me? Comments.
Speaker 3:Because I have this idea. And I said, do you want to get married while we're in Orlando? And he was like sure. And he was like, well, what do you mean? And I was like well, and we'd already invited his parents to go with us for part of the Disney trip and my parents only live like two hours from Disney. So we said, well, everybody's going to be there. Do you want to just get married at Disney? Like well, go to the courthouse. We're not going to do an extensive Disney wedding, but on our rest day we'll go to the courthouse and we'll get married and we'll plan a fun dinner with everybody and that's literally what it turned into.
Speaker 4:And we invited a couple of more people if they wanted to come down and join. My cousin did, you know, some other people didn't, but we didn't want to exclude some of the artists.
Speaker 3:And then we said we'll have a big party when we get back. And we haven't done that yet, but you know we're we're coming up on a year in June. Maybe we'll have an anniversary party or something, I don't know, but no, it was. It was gorgeous and beautiful and wonderful and fun. We went to the courthouse in the morning. We still dressed up, we still coordinated colors, we still had family there. Isabel obviously was included, sean and Morgan were included. We had photography. And then we came back and we played in the pool for a little while and then we went to Hoop-Dee-Doo.
Speaker 4:Review for dinner that night and had a hoedown barbecue with all of our family.
Speaker 2:So no, it was. That is incredible Love in the middle of deep grief, that is. That is something else, my gosh.
Speaker 3:Yeah, we didn't just find somebody to enjoy the rest of life with or have somebody to hang out with the rest of life, like we literally found our best friend in each other and the person who makes us each better people he makes me a better person every day, and I hope that I make him a better person every day.
Speaker 1:Well, and Robin, I'm so proud of you for having the ability, and then I'm not going to say strength and courage, but opening yourself up for that, Because I know sometimes, when I mean we don't know that we're ready for things like that, I mean because this is a that's huge and you, you were so open to it at the right time and I think that that is remarkable and that's just. It's just remarkable, You're remarkable.
Speaker 4:Thank you. That's kind of what you know before. What I was talking about was when I found out, was I ready for it or was she?
Speaker 2:ready, and that was the big.
Speaker 4:Thing is you know. Is she really ready for this? Because we connected instantly.
Speaker 1:That wasn't the problem, yeah.
Speaker 4:Yeah, it was not the problem. It was are we going to be ready for this? And I think once we met each other and sat down, we saw how much better together we made each other. I love it, and that was it Because.
Speaker 3:I mean, we both had a little bit of you know, scare tactics. I guess you know I'm walking in with all this. You know this is what happened to my kids story, but he's fairly fresh out of divorce and I'm thinking I've done this single thing for a while. Are you sure you're ready to jump back into something serious again, you know? And so I think we both had, like I don't know cause, we weren't that guarded.
Speaker 2:But we had a little bit of you know. So where do y'all get your, where do you get your strength to you know? I know I remember thinking just how painful it was just to go to a soccer game and have the conversation with a stranger next to me about what had happened to Carter, let alone a potential date. What do you tap into? What's some advice for people?
Speaker 3:And Bart, I'm gonna ask you the same thing, so think you can do that again, just not giving up and continuing to live that life to make Sean and Morgan proud. If I stayed cowered in a corner for the rest of my life because I was scared to meet somebody new, or I was scared to walk back out on a baseball field or a cheerleading field or anything like that, just how much would I let them down? I still struggle with the fact that I couldn't save them in the fire and that's always going to be a guilt that I live with. I do better with it than obviously I did at first, but I mean it's still back there, that guilt that I couldn't save them. I'm their mama, I'm supposed to protect them from everything and I couldn't that night, you know. And so not letting them down again just brings me, you know, just gives me that fuel I have to keep going.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's amazing. How about you, bart? What? What was the strength inside you that you know fresh off divorce that that made you say, okay, I'm tapping into this because I'm going to try and go for it? You connected with her, and so what do you tap into when you're afraid and worried about all this?
Speaker 4:Yeah, just like when we first met, it was all about I'm not quitting. That was what she would always tell me is they wouldn't want me to quit, I'm not quitting, and that is what I look at. So it's a great trait to have. I don't know how she does it. At times it's very tough, and it's just for her to tell me they wouldn't want me to quit. So why would I quit? And I'm so blessed by that and so that is my strength and we learned that at the very beginning of our relationship was that's the way she felt about it and that's kind what carries me through all this so you kind of follow her lead a little bit absolutely absolutely and then I like, yeah, that that's the first picture I ever saw of her.
Speaker 4:She had a shirt on that said that and say that again.
Speaker 2:What was the shirt?
Speaker 1:say it again. Amy, I said she's a badass butterfly.
Speaker 3:Yes, I actually just said beautiful badass. But yes, that's. Hey, I own it, I love it.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh Make it till.
Speaker 3:you make it sometimes, so that's a big one too.
Speaker 4:So, yeah, I think we're and and and it's. And. Another thing that really helps me is is when people ask about my kid and then they ask about Robin's kids and she tells them I'm about to make you cry and we go through that, but at the end of the story they ask what can we do to prevent? And so that's the greatest part and the most rewarding part is being able to help someone else and seeing when someone else's eyes open up and they're just going okay, maybe we shouldn't take that for granted, and that's the way we look at it. Every day. We don't take anything for granted. We just continue to love on everybody that we can love on. It's me and her and Isabel against the world. So that's the way we kind of look at it.
Speaker 3:And I mean even you know we'll. We'll talk to people and they'll say we need to go home and talk about a fire plan. You know what? What? What can we do? How do we get this started? I mean, we have the resources to give them to say, hey, this is, this is where you start, this is how you practice, this is how you come up with it.
Speaker 3:And obviously I don't know everything, but I share every single ounce of knowledge that I can with people about fire safety and being as prepared as you can. And we tried to be. We had a fire plan, we had smoke detectors, we had a fire ladder, we had all the things. They knew where to go. When you got out of the house, you didn't wait for anybody else, you just went to our meeting spot across the street at the neighbor's mailbox. But again, when nobody wakes up, it doesn't matter what kind of plan you had. But yeah, even Isabel knows my fire safety spiel and can speak it to anybody. She'll go to events with us and she'll listen to me talk to people about things and she'll literally look at us and say can I talk to the next person? And absolutely, she's a little more out knowing than Barta is about talking to people.
Speaker 2:I love that so much. I mean, what a role model for her too. I mean it's all of us are carrying grief at different points in our life, right, and not certainly to the weight that you're carrying, Robin, but you know, she's seeing this person that has this resilience and an ability to also say I'm sad today. Right, it's the honest, it's the both of those and, and what a gift to be able to share that with somebody else. That's incredible, and what a gift to be able to share that with somebody else.
Speaker 1:That's incredible.
Speaker 2:What advice would y'all?
Speaker 1:have for any other person out there that wants to date.
Speaker 3:Oh just listen to your gut, follow your heart, take steps and take I don't know what sort I'm looking for Like jump in, try it out, but if it's too much or it's too deep, go back to the shallow end for a minute, start over, it's okay, but be willing to jump in, be willing to try things, be willing to give it a shot. It may not work out every time, and that's okay, but if you're not at least willing to take a risk and see what happens, then you may never find your part.
Speaker 4:And you just have to trust your heart, and that's the main thing. Is is what is your heart telling you, because I knew from the beginning when this was and I was able to just OK, let's go. You know it's, I trust you, you trust me, let's make this thing happen. And here we are, just super happy.
Speaker 1:Well, and you have to you're worthy of the love. That's something. I think that's huge you. You are worthy of the love and you are worthy of the friendship and the relationships and all that kind of stuff, even if they're new. And I know it's hard to move forward.
Speaker 3:But Sean and Morgan want it Absolutely, and you know, just tell anybody you just pray about it. I mean, every day with me starts with prayer, it ends with prayer. We pray together. You know we pray apart. I prayed before I met Bart. You know I prayed about Bart and I didn't even know that's what I was praying for, yet you know we pray for each other.
Speaker 3:Yes. So I mean that's another reason that our relationship works is because God is a huge part of our relationship. He is a part of every single second of our lives and without him I wouldn't be where I am today, I wouldn't have gotten through the things that I got through. In the beginning. I mean, I was angry at him and that's okay too. So he understands that anger and he understands the days that I'm still angry with him and that I'm still sad about things.
Speaker 3:But then I asked him to just give me the strength to keep going. You know, give me the strength to be here, for Bart to be here, for Isabel to be here, for other people that hopefully my testimony will be part of their survival guide. You know, just find pain in the purpose, find joy through the grief. You know, live a life of grief and gratitude. That's kind of my saying and all the things that I do, that you know I'm going to be grateful for everything that happens, but I'm still going to carry a little grief with me along the way. And I mean I'm going to carry a lot of grief with me, but I just mean, in the moments like, enjoy the gratefulness of a moment even though you have that grief still sitting on your shoulder.
Speaker 3:I think you, just you learn to balance it the best that you can and when the seesaw tumbles you figure it out and you get that scale back on balance again later. But you have to have that relationship with each other, you have to have that relationship with God and you have to just for me, just not let my kids down and I don't want to let any of them down. I don't want to let Sean and Morgan down. I don't want to let Isabel down, if I can help it. I want to just be the best person I can be to all the people in my life, whether it's a mom, whether it's a wife, whether it's a stepmom, whether it's a friend, whether it's a family member, like I, just I just try to be the best person that I can be to the people who are here.
Speaker 4:And to live every day where someone sees Christ through us. That's the big thing. We just, we just want to be those people, that they go. Man, those guys are happy, talk to us, and that's kind of what we want to do. That's the way we live every day.
Speaker 2:I love it. That's incredible. I want to make a bunch of Robin posters, all of those things that you said.
Speaker 1:I need like do what Robin does. I need that. I need do W-W-R-D. Yeah, I need that. I need that.
Speaker 2:I need that. Affirmations on my mirror. Girl, that is so good, wow, well thank you, I love it.
Speaker 1:Yes, well, y'all thank you so much. Yes, thank y'all so much.
Speaker 4:Absolutely, it's an honor.
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 2:Well, talking to y'all as always. Yes, thank you so much. We appreciate it and listeners, if you want to join in Robin, if you want to share some of those links on fire safety, we'll post that online with your podcast as well and you all can find more. Robin is we didn't even talk about that. Robin is one of the moms. She's actually our first chapter in the warrior mom book that will come out in.
Speaker 3:No pressure.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know. Just we're so excited about it, and so if you want to go to our website, you can hear more about Robin's story on there, on her bio page, and everything is linked on our my bio page too, for for the foundation website, and then for the Facebook page and the Instagram page for the foundation as well.
Speaker 3:Awesome.
Speaker 2:Perfect. So go to wwwwarriormomsme, and then there's, you know, meet the warrior moms, and you can drop down and find Robin, no Willis's name and go to her bio page and see pictures of beautiful Sean and Morgan and, of course, visit those sites for the foundation. Thank you so much for being here. This was just a delight. You two are an inspiration. I'm going to have my husband listen to this.
Speaker 1:And thank you, listeners, for being here once again. Until next time, love y'all, bye, bye, see you.
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