In our latest episode, we're joined by Melissa Crouch, my cherished youngest sister, who bravely shares her journey through the valleys of grief following the murder of my son, her nephew Carter. With raw emotion, she opens up about their close-knit relationship, the joyous moments they spent together, and the shattering day our world turned upside down. As Melissa reflects on the beautiful yet complex layer of sibling sorrow, we're reminded that the loss of a child is a shared burden, carrying a weight that is often shouldered in silence by brothers and sisters.
Melissa recounts the intentional ways she shared the truth about what happened to Carter and advice from her pediatrician----all with the clear focus keep Carter's spirit alive for Bennett and Everett. They were only 2 and 4 at the time, yet 7 1/2 years later, they feel tightly connected to Carter. How did she take care of her own grief, help her sons, and support her sister? Sage advice she offers, to say the least.
Amy and I are so honored to witness her retelling of her grief journey. We hope you will join us for a memorable conversation.
"Dream Bird" by Jonny Easton
Thank you for listening to Warrior Moms podcast. It is an honor to share about our beloved children gone too soon, and we hope in telling of our losses, it may help someone on their own grief journey. Please note that we are not medical professionals and encourage those listening to seek help from mental health professionals.
We'd love to hear from our followers!
Facebook: Warrior Moms-The Club No One Wants to Be In
Instagram: WarriorMoms.SurvivingChildLoss
With love,
Warrior Moms
In our latest episode, we're joined by Melissa Crouch, my cherished youngest sister, who bravely shares her journey through the valleys of grief following the murder of my son, her nephew Carter. With raw emotion, she opens up about their close-knit relationship, the joyous moments they spent together, and the shattering day our world turned upside down. As Melissa reflects on the beautiful yet complex layer of sibling sorrow, we're reminded that the loss of a child is a shared burden, carrying a weight that is often shouldered in silence by brothers and sisters.
Melissa recounts the intentional ways she shared the truth about what happened to Carter and advice from her pediatrician----all with the clear focus keep Carter's spirit alive for Bennett and Everett. They were only 2 and 4 at the time, yet 7 1/2 years later, they feel tightly connected to Carter. How did she take care of her own grief, help her sons, and support her sister? Sage advice she offers, to say the least.
Amy and I are so honored to witness her retelling of her grief journey. We hope you will join us for a memorable conversation.
"Dream Bird" by Jonny Easton
Thank you for listening to Warrior Moms podcast. It is an honor to share about our beloved children gone too soon, and we hope in telling of our losses, it may help someone on their own grief journey. Please note that we are not medical professionals and encourage those listening to seek help from mental health professionals.
We'd love to hear from our followers!
Facebook: Warrior Moms-The Club No One Wants to Be In
Instagram: WarriorMoms.SurvivingChildLoss
With love,
Warrior Moms
Hello and welcome to Warrior Moms. I am Michelle Davis.
Speaker 2:And I'm Amy, and we are so excited. Today we have a very special guest, melissa, who is Michelle's sister. So, michelle, tell us a little bit about Melissa.
Speaker 1:Yes, Hi hi.
Speaker 2:Hello, yes, hi hi.
Speaker 1:Hello, so I have. So Melissa Crouch is my youngest sister. We are 11 years apart, although she's one of my very best friends and to me we're the exact same age. I have more wrinkles than she does. No, hardly. It does not feel like there's 11 years between us, and Amy and I asked Melissa to be here to really kick off our sibling series. As you know, we wanted to talk about the idea of. You know that grief of this loss isn't just about the loss that us moms feel, that losing a child really reverberates and lands on all of us, and yes, it affects the whole thing.
Speaker 2:We get so much, I shouldn't get so much attention, but we do. Everybody's like, oh, how's the mom, how's the mom? It's kind of like we call the siblings like the siblings are the forgotten, they're forgotten, they just so much emphasis is put on moms. And so I love, because you were an aunt to Carter and you were probably closer to Carter's age than you were, your sister's age apparently, right, my sister's seven years younger than I am and she babysat my son. So much you know. And it took me a couple of years to kind of dive in and think to myself gosh, you know, she helped raise him, you know so, and'm sure that anyway. So yeah, what's y'all's?
Speaker 2:relationship in that Like what? How close were y'all?
Speaker 3:Oh man. So I lived with Michelle and Jeremy and Carter. We were roommates, roomies, and in fact Carter and I shared a bedroom and that he was a kindergartner, carter and I shared a bedroom and that he was a kindergartner, and that first time I lived with Michelle and Jeremy I was, you know, student teaching and got placed in Denver and gosh, that was just a precious time in my life, because here I am a college kid, you know, and in my partying ways, and here's Michelle and Jeremy opening their home to me with a young child, I mean that in itself is a testament to Michelle and Jeremy and Carter, you know, and she adopted a dog in the middle of it too.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that was let's add some more chaos.
Speaker 3:Who adopted the dog Melissa, did I know? Oh geez, yeah. So Carter would kind of crawl over to my bed and, hey, issa, can I come in with you? Yeah, come on. You know, and him and I were definitely best buds for sure. And then I lived with them again when, you know, I was graduated from college and trying to find my first teaching job, and so they opened their home again to me. And Carter then was at the same elementary school when I got my first teaching job, and so that was really special. So Carter would come with me to school. We'd do homework after school in my class, as I'm like setting up for the next day, and those times are just so precious to me.
Speaker 2:It's just a bond that people don't. I'm going to cry for you. I know People don't. I'm going to cry for you.
Speaker 1:I know that's the design.
Speaker 2:you can't create it grows.
Speaker 3:And it just yeah. Well, and then when I got engaged Carter, Well, even before the engaged right, the first.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah. So so my husband is was good friends with my brother-in-law, Jeremy, michelle's husband and Carter's dad. And you know, jeremy was like do you want me to set you up on a date? Because I just was having a hard time meeting people and finding friends. And I was like I think I might move back to Rapid City. You know, I just am not finding my people here. And Jeremy's like wow, I'll set you up. And I'm like oh, that's just too weird, I don't know, he just wanted you out of his house.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly Exactly.
Speaker 3:So Jeremy invited Ken we had gone on like one date and invited Ken to come home with us. So here we are Carter me, michelle, jeremy, ken. I've gone on one date with this man. I'm like Jeremy, he's going to think I set you up to do this, you know. And in the car Carter goes, issa Crouch, it's got a ring to it. I'm like Carter. No, this guy's going to think I'm nuts. Just so cute.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so cute. But then that spring, was it that spring or fall that you got?
Speaker 3:engaged that spring. We only dated like seven months.
Speaker 2:Carter was right there?
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, he was our ring bear. Love it. Yeah yeah, carter was right there. Oh yeah, he was our ring bear.
Speaker 2:Love it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, Now take us to the. Can I go here? I just remember not being able to sleep and being really just anxious feeling, and so I actually went out to our family room and just was like trying to sleep on the couch. I just didn't feel well to sleep on the couch, I just didn't feel well, and my niece Skye, who's the same age as Carter, called me and said Michelle and Jeremy can't find Carter. So then Michelle called me.
Speaker 1:It was like 5.30 in the morning.
Speaker 3:Yeah. And Michelle said you know, I'm driving with Greta and we're going to try and find Carter. I'm driving with Greta and we're going to try and find Carter. So we got the call then that Carter had been murdered. And I remember running into the bedroom and I had this black lab who was just a love, an angel dog, and I remember falling down into his dog bed and just falling apart, you know. And Ken said you know, okay, let's move into action. We called a neighbor, a dear friend of mine, and I said you know, my nephew was killed. Can you come and help with the boys? So she came over at like 6 am. How?
Speaker 2:old were your boys at the time?
Speaker 3:Everett was two and Bennett was four, okay, so of course they hear me crying. So the little boys wake up. And mom, what's the matter? And I said, well, carter's been really hurt. And Bennett, sorry, I have a tickle in my throat. Bennett said, uh, well, mommy, you gotta go help him, you gotta go fix it. And I said, yeah, I, you know, I'm gonna help Shell, I'm gonna leave and I'm going to leave and I'm going to help Shell and Jeremy and Greta. And then I flew with my parents to go to Atlanta. But that was a really awful time, awful moment.
Speaker 2:Y'all had just spent a lot of time together in the weeks before that correct.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yep, it was kind of a tradition that Michelle would bring Carter for his birthday and he loved nothing more. You guys, my voice, I'm so sorry. Carter loved nothing more than to be with family, yeah, and he loved the Black Hills and he loved camping. That was always his favorite, michelle. He wasn't a big cake fan, so Michelle always got him this giant cookie with the icing that was like a tent and happy birthday, carter. And so that weekly, you know, before he died, we were all in the Black Hills camping and hiking camping and hiking.
Speaker 1:And so that birthday party the Friday night before he died, that Sunday night, um and Melissa and Ken had given Carter their car, one of their cars, as a birthday present. Um, and he, you would have thought he they had given him, I mean millions, it was like a jalopy of a car to be honest it didn't matter.
Speaker 3:It did not matter. And he wrote us a thank you note. I still have the note in his little handwriting and you know, isa and Ken, I will take care of this car and I will respect this. It's such an honor to have it. Thank you, I mean just precious and in just a few days.
Speaker 2:That shows his character too, just in those few days. It's not like he got home and was like yeah, I'll do it later.
Speaker 3:You know a lot of kids that age would do Exactly, exactly, yeah, oh, that is precious.
Speaker 2:So you all are on the plane. I bet you couldn't get a plane ticket fast enough, could you?
Speaker 3:So our Aunt Debbie, who's in Texas. She went into action, bought us the plane tickets. Melanie and I grabbed all of the photo albums we could On the way to the airport. We were grabbing every photo of Carter and everything and putting them in a bag, knowing that we would want to display them. Yeah, you.
Speaker 1:Somehow they grabbed every piece of precious like jewelry. It was rosaries and crosses and heart necklaces and pearls of our grandparents Handkerchiefs and somehow, in that first 24, 48 hours, they made a necklace for me to wear that had all of the strength of these women in our family. Oh my gosh, yeah. And then you know I I wore that for months, truly months, um, but it was something that I could immediately put on and it was a hug.
Speaker 2:It was a hug from all these women, and you're ah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was incredible. And what my memory is, Melissa, is that I mean, I know the pain was so deep for y'all and yet, like my recounting of it is like your smiles, your hugs, your holding the hands, your smiles, your hugs, your holding the hands. You know, we went downtown Woodstock and Melanie gave Greta $500 to go shopping.
Speaker 3:We all you know and they were we did some retail therapy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they were. You know, Melissa and Melanie and Skye are skipping and you know, just pouring joy and care into Greta.
Speaker 2:And Greta needed that at that moment for sure, because she was so young.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and you know, like what were you thinking, like, how did you gain that strength?
Speaker 3:I've wondered Well, what was so interesting is in that week? I mean, it's an out-of-body experience for sure, but we all had our roles, you know, like when one of us would break down, another one would swoop in. You know, michelle wanted Carter's room to be packed up and you know, we all kind of looked at each other and assessed and, without words, my dad and I walked up the steps and we just got it done. You know and I think another piece that shares Carter's person, his spirit, is on his desk was every special rock that he had collected from the Black Hills, every note each of us had ever written him he had stacked up. My dad had given Carter every birthday silver dollars and he had a little stack and everything was just precious. It shows him. You know his character, you know I remember all of us.
Speaker 3:A little comedy out moment in that grief is we all would try and be helpful and pick up each other's things and try and like tidy up, but then you just lose everything and you feel like I mean you are losing your mind and you're like gosh, I just had my purse. Where did it go? So our middle sister, melanie, she goes. This is good, this is great, because in grief, you actually need something to be annoyed with. This is so good. We need to be irritated. This is good. So she handed out Ziploc bags to all of us. So instead of carrying purses, we all had a Ziploc bag so we could see the items Stuff like that coming and going and it just always was a lot. It was just a lot. And, michelle, I don't know how you do it, sister of mine, but she just has God in her. Truly, there's no other way to explain it. But as we're all eating some dinner, someone brought in food. Sitting in their kitchen area, michelle is quietly writing Carter's eulogy.
Speaker 3:Thank you, you know I mean that just, but she's just right in there with us in the mix, you know, didn't take herself away to a quiet room, no, she's just right in there, wanted to be. That's just Michelle. You know she's still a part, still. You know that rock, that solid person and I, that's wow. That is burned in my memory for sure.
Speaker 3:Another moment, and I've told you, know Melanie and my mom and dad I don't know how I got to go, I don't even remember, but Michelle and Jeremy had to go to the funeral home and choose the things you know, and somehow I rose to the occasion and I went. Everybody else was busy doing other things. And so, whoa, in the car I wrote the obituary, jeremy edited it, michelle gave some words. So we're doing that in the car. Then we get to the funeral home. You have all these options and I just am always in awe of this human in front of me because she never once showed anger, never. You know, when you're deep in that grief, a lot of times people can be unkind to each other. You know you, just that happens. You kind of see people's true colors in moments like that and Michelle is just truly a walking angel and I think no wonder Carter is the person. He, I still say is because he is very much alive and it's because of this woman right here.
Speaker 2:Well, and I think that's something she is amazing. I mean she's still doing that today, I mean with all of us, you know here. But I think that it does. It shows a testament to who she is and who Carter is. But it's amazing how you do rise to the occasion, you know.
Speaker 2:I just shared something the other day and it said everybody with you know everybody that's so strong. They've been given a story that made them have to show their strength, and it's not that we're stronger than the next person, we just powered through it.
Speaker 3:And it's amazing how you do rise to that occasion.
Speaker 2:But, like you said, sometimes you can be angry and cuss at people and yell at people and I'm sure she's had her moments of that and yell at people, and I'm sure she's had her moments of that but in the heat of it and in the thing of it, it's a true way to honor who Carter was, is and his legacy will live on forever, and that's and that's because of how Michelle does that for sure, absolutely.
Speaker 3:She kind of set the tone.
Speaker 1:And we followed and just got right in line behind her and, yep, you know we could have been the parent to the killer and we weren't, and that I just I wanted to lean into this. You know who this beautiful young man was, yes, and not get caught up in, you know, losing who he was simply because I was angry or I was hurt, and you know I could do that in private, but I, um, yeah, that was really the focus. But one of the things, melissa, I think is just, oh gosh, um, so incredible is how you've handled um keeping Carter's spirit alive with your boys, you know. And two, and there's this precious picture right before we were leaving, carter scoops up both Bennett and Everett and he's this 17-year-old muscular kid, man, child, yeah, man, child, but he was a kid magnet. He just, oh my gosh, he could not. If there was a baby, he was holding it, if there was a toddler, he's racing in the yard with them. So he scoops up Bennett and Everett and he's talking to them in these two faces that we have.
Speaker 3:Yeah, their little.
Speaker 1:Faces are turned to them, and I mean their eyes and their eyebrows are up, like their faces are turned to them, and I mean their eyes and their eyebrows are up, like who is this amazing human? I mean yes, but they still were four and two. And those memories get lost. And yet to see Bennett and Everett and to hear them talk about Carter, there is no doubt in their minds that they know who Carter is. And I mean tell about what you just told me. This week it was so precious.
Speaker 3:So Everett, my younger son, he is, oh my gosh, a little old soul and loves cars, loves history. Has this just innate memory and can?
Speaker 3:you know, remember cars, their make, their model. It's wild. So he comes down the hallway and he's like, mom, he's eight, mom, mom, what was Carter's favorite car? And I'm like, geez, I don't know, I'd have to ask Shell. But he loved a good pickup truck. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, runs down the hallway, comes back down, mom, what was Carter's favorite toy? I'm like, oh, he loved these rescue hero little figurines. And it was a fireman, a policeman. Yeah, yeah, okay, runs down the hallway.
Speaker 3:I don't know what he's doing when he goes back to the hallway, but he just had these burning questions that he had to know about Carter at that moment, and right away when I got back from Atlanta, from Carter's funeral, you know I am a hot mess. It's summer, so I'm home with the boys and they're little, so I'm trying to get them out of the house at the park all the time, and that's when all the signs from Carter began. And so any hawk that I'd see, I'd lose my mind and roll down the window. I'd see, I'd lose my mind and roll down the window. Carter, hi, carter. So then the boys would join in. Hey, carter, yeah, we'd clap for the hog.
Speaker 3:You know people are looking at us like what? Here are these two little munchkins in the back. We're cheering out the window for this bird the back. We're cheering out the window for this bird. And I have videos of the boys in their car seats and Coldplay, like every song on his Head Full of Dreams album. We believe that it's just Carter. It's Carter sending us these songs and so when this particular song would come on the radio, everett and Bennett started this fist pump action to the Carter song and it was just this dance we did to celebrate Carter and, you know, to make it fun, and the boys just were like whoa, my mom is wild and wacky, but we're joining in, we're in it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, it's amazing. And they, you know, they do, they talk about him, they ask questions. I mean it's just, it's such a beautiful thing about that. I honestly I know it had to be really hard to tell the boys what happened and they were too young to know all the details. And all that conversation is still going to be down your road, your path with them.
Speaker 3:So when they were little, you know, I told them that Carter had been hurt really badly and he was in heaven. So that's kind of how I handled it. But you know, my little Bennett, who is 10, is always listening, always right there, you know, around the corner listening, and so he overheard a lot of conversations and so one night he came to me and was like Mom, did Carter get hurt by a bad guy? I said, oh, buddy, yeah, he did, he did. He's like no one can help him get better. I was like no, but his angels took him. They took him to heaven and after we had that conversation, I truly believe that Carter sat with the boys at night. I just have this sense, because every morning Bennett would say things like wild things, like Mom, carter's in heaven and he is building things, and Carter wanted to be an engineer. And I was like, wow, that is awesome, buddy, bennett wouldn't have known that he wanted to be an engineer?
Speaker 2:No, no.
Speaker 3:And he's like yep, mom Carter told me he's building things in heaven. I was like wow, I mean, you just can't write these, you can't even make this up. I mean these little people.
Speaker 1:We didn't know that he had taken photos and had stolen a camera, and Bennett was the one that told Melissa I forgot about that, melissa told me.
Speaker 1:We told the police and they were scouring because he had just thrown things out of his window as he was trying to get rid of evidence. They found the camera he had taken the film. So we never saw it, but the camera that was Carter's, that my dad had given him. It was a camera my dad had got when he was overseas in Vietnam and had given this camera to my dad. And they found it. And Bennett was the one that woke up and told Melissa that one morning Unreal.
Speaker 3:It is. And you know, being here in Rapid City it's just so hard because I want nothing more to be with my sister, you know, and Greta and Jeremy. But, and I didn't know if I was telling the right, telling this story in the right manner to my boys. I didn't know. And you know I remember asking the pediatrician like this is the situation, and you know there are my Bennett is asking a lot of questions, what is the right thing to say to a little buddy, you know? And our pediatrician said Melissa, there's no wrong way to say this, but I want to encourage you to tell your children the truth and that that don't sugarcoat it. Just tell them that he was killed and you know he's not with us anymore and our hearts are forever changed because of that.
Speaker 3:And I remember feeling like this weight lifted because I was always trying to make it sound better than it was or to, you know, kind of shield them from this thing. And the moment that Ken and I sat the boys down and told them, you know, that Carter had been shot by this boy and the both Bennett and Everett cried and um, bennett said mom, I, I hate that that happened and I wish that wouldn't have happened. But I'm really sad for that kid too. Like he, his life's done. I was like it absolutely is. And we, we can be sad for him too. That's absolutely true. But you know what we're going to focus on. We're not focusing on that part of the story. We're focusing on Carter's life and and who he is to us and who he is to us.
Speaker 2:I love that, oh my gosh, I know I do too. That's wisdom, oh my I know it.
Speaker 1:What advice could you give other siblings, aunts and uncles about how to take care of you? And still, you know, put love and attention towards us who have lost somebody. What do you do?
Speaker 3:Oh God, I think showing up, you know, is so important. Just calling, talking about Carter, talking about your loved one who's passed, bringing him into conversations. You know a lot of people you worry like, oh, they're getting sick of me talking about. I don't care, he is the light of our life and I'm going to tell the funny stories I'm going to tell. You know, I'm going to say these hard conversations and if it makes that person feel comfortable, they're not meant to be in our circle, you know. So I think, talk about your loved one often and all the time, and call your sibling and show up.
Speaker 2:How did you take care of yourself? Because I mean, you had major grief as well trauma grief, all the things. How have you taken care of yourself in this?
Speaker 3:I think, as we all do, you know, I find like peace in being outside, and so I was constantly taking my boys and we'd go to the park or we'd go just in the backyard putting on music. I think Michelle gave great advice to us early on, you know set aside your grief time, and that because I had to be kind of on, you know, and be there too. So, yeah, um, but I think what Michelle has led us um through this journey is, when that grief strikes cause it can come any moment just let it, let it and honor it, and then also it's okay then to put it aside and then keep going. I think that, yeah, just honor that, feel the fields. That has helped a lot is letting it. I think I did go to a counselor just once. Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 3:I think the good piece, I did get a tattoo. That was really liberating, what is it? So Carter gave a baseball to Bennett for his first birthday and in Carter's handwriting on the baseball he said I can't wait to play with you, buddy, so precious I know. So I took that baseball to the tattoo artist and said I need this handwriting on me. And so they took um, you know, made a little tattoo design in his handwriting and it says add more love to the world, and I love it.
Speaker 2:Yeah yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:Do you know?
Speaker 2:I have somebody say this I'm going to see I go off script. Michelle's all good and like what the agenda is. And then there's Amy that just comes in and like hey we need.
Speaker 1:We need the wrecking ball.
Speaker 2:But wrecking ball, I like it too. So I've had people say to me before I'm very close to Alec, that have known him since he was birth, you know whatever family that have said I'm so sorry that I'm upset, I shouldn't be more upset than you, and I just think that that and I'm like no, you loved him too. Like it almost brings me comfort to know that they are upset as well. Like have you ever felt like I shouldn't be more upset than her, or does that make sense?
Speaker 3:Well, I'm saying that, yeah, you know, I never felt that, yeah, never. But I, I know what you're saying, you know, I, I.
Speaker 2:Like you, look at Michelle and think she's so strong in here I'm a mess.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I do understand that, yeah, I mean I think we all have taken turns in that mess and and helped each other through it, and that doesn't mean that I shouldn't have been that, you know. They're just. It is that dark and heavy and it feels like you're drowning sometimes. But just allowing yourself to feel the feels and also any other aunt or sibling or anybody out there.
Speaker 2:it's okay that you're upset and it's okay, for like me or Michelle, to see you upset about it. Like I mean, I don't want to say it's a good thing, but it is. It's a good thing. Like we need to know that people loved our children just as much as we did. Like it's not a competition with who's sadder.
Speaker 1:Yes, and all of that, so that it's okay. You know of of you, you know, walking this with your boys, um, and I remember phone calls, you know, and you would just be destroyed and you'd be bawling and not being able to talk. And you know, melissa, we have that relationship where we're not. You know she, she shared that because you know she needed me and I needed her. You know, and, um, and you're right, amy, like that does strangely fill us up, you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's not that we want you to hurt, but it does Right, right.
Speaker 1:Right, and one of the things I want you to share, just as we're kind of finishing up, is the ways in which you celebrate Carter, because that is something that people in Melissa's life say about her is she is just from the kids that she teaches to the parents, to neighbors, she is the hostess with the mostest and just brings this light. Oh, michelle, I mean, when she's in the presence, you're the focus and she does that for her students, and Melissa has just found some ways to not just with her boys, but to make Carter a presence in other ways.
Speaker 3:So just share a couple of those ways that you Well, I mean, as a teacher, I think it's important to share parts of you that are real to your students, and so I always share with my class the story of Carter. We do a project around Valentine's Day it's like a kindness challenge and we say how we're going to add more love to the world. I have these like my most precious items in my classroom. Carter would always come and help me set up my classroom and he made these posters for me and it has like a poem for every holiday in his handwriting and so I yes, I have that, you know, as like a huge part of our classroom community.
Speaker 3:So Carter is very much well and alive in my classroom with my friends, my adult friends. You know he is very much a part of my friendships. You know I have a dear friend who loves to run and she was running when it was snowy out and she wrote add more love in the snow and sent me a picture. I think people, just because they love us, they in return love Carter and that is so special and I have made it my goal, I guess my mission, to do my best to live big like Carter, to love big, to say what's on your heart to not withhold. You know those words like I love you. You know to say it and mean it, and I do believe that as a teacher, it's such an awesome way to pass on his legacy for sure.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's amazing.
Speaker 2:I love you, melissa oh man. I love you so much. I love you, melissa oh man.
Speaker 3:I love you.
Speaker 1:Amy.
Speaker 2:Y'all's bond and just all of it. I just love it, I love that y'all have each other you know, and the Melanie too, but I just love the bond that y'all have in the family and just the core you know.
Speaker 3:Yeah, gosh, we are lucky, the blessing in this and I'm so honored that I get to speak on here. But I love that we can honestly say that we have no regrets with Carter. That we always said that we loved him and we had the most fun when we were together. We, man, we had fun.
Speaker 2:And I feel really good about that and I do it too he knew the love that all of you had for him and that he had for y'all, and that, oh my gosh, that what you just said right there, that you have no regrets whatsoever.
Speaker 3:Of course you want more time and you want more fun and adventures, but the time we did have, I just, I'm so proud of it.
Speaker 2:I think that helps bring peace too, to know that I did everything that we enjoyed every moment we had together.
Speaker 1:We did, and that's something that the three of us sisters really try really hard, particularly with the men in our lives you know of, you know they're, you know they feel like they should have protected or that there's um, you know that they could have done more, and that's something with our dad in particular that you know. I think the three of us really, in our own ways, but with our mom too, is just making sure they hear from us. Gosh, remember when you did this with Carter oh gosh.
Speaker 1:Remember when, helping them walk back through those memories. Yes, that's like pointing at what they did in those memories.
Speaker 2:You're absolutely correct, because that's something that you know. The men, they're the protectors, they're the. I couldn't keep them safe.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. And Melissa's really both Melissa and Melanie are such good kind of like historic well, all of our, all of us in our family, these historian storytellers. You know that my dad is just the most brilliant of all.
Speaker 2:And he started the trend. He started it, oh yeah, he taught y'all well.
Speaker 1:It's a long line of hurlies that are storytellers. I love it, but that's so important.
Speaker 1:I think that's something that when I'm with Melissa, that she really gifts to me, because there's so many pieces that you forget a mom, and dad, and Greta too, and so for you know my sibling to share that, you know those memories and you know, like I had forgotten, melissa, that you were sick that Saturday. You know that the night before that Sunday night, you know just hearing, you know just keeping. I guess you know talking about that, even when it's hard, even when it's sad, and somehow that's that sadness gets re kind of quilted into something that's really beautiful. Yes, amazing. I love you.
Speaker 3:I love you. I love you too. This was awesome. Thank you so much. I wish I had sisters. Oh, I have my Carter picture here. I love it, and I lit a little candle for him. Oh, yeah. Thank you guys, this is just an honor. Oh, melissa, thank you. I man what your moms, you are, and I just admire and wrap you all up well thank you so much, you all right all your, your boys, a smooch I will. It's nice to see you and meet you, Amy. You too, Melissa.
Speaker 2:Thank you. Thank you All right, michelle. I guess until next time we'll have another sibling on one day, right, that's right. Awesome, all right. Well, thank you both, bye, bye.