The sudden loss of a friend can send shockwaves through the heart, leaving us to grapple with a grief that's as complex as it is profound. Our latest conversation takes you on a journey through the sorrow of losing someone who was not just a friend but a cherished connection to our late son, Alec. We open up about the emptiness that follows, and how this dear soul's absence reverberates through every guitar string he once played with our son and each family gathering he brightened with his presence. It's a raw and honest exploration of the intricate web of mourning, love, and the memories that bind us, even after someone has gone.
As we prepare for Alec's pizza party with one less laugh in the chorus, the episode turns to the supportive embrace we extend to friends and family when they face their own losses. Listening becomes a lifeline, "feeling the feels" a necessary passage, and sharing stories a bridge across the void left behind. We're reminded that while we may not always be able to offer a physical hug, the connections forged through our shared narratives are a powerful salve. Our gratitude for the support of our listeners shines through as we reflect on the importance of keeping the voices of those we've loved alive in our conversations, creating a collective sanctuary for those seeking solace and understanding in their times of need.
We'd love to hear from our followers! Facebook: Warrior Moms-The Club No One Wants to Be In Instagram: WarriorMoms.SurvivingChildLoss
"Dream Bird" by Jonny Easton
Thank you for listening to Warrior Moms podcast. It is an honor to share about our beloved children gone too soon, and we hope in telling of our losses, it may help someone on their own grief journey. Please note that we are not medical professionals and encourage those listening to seek help from mental health professionals.
We'd love to hear from our followers! Facebook: Warrior Moms-The Club No One Wants to Be In Instagram: WarriorMoms.SurvivingChildLoss
The sudden loss of a friend can send shockwaves through the heart, leaving us to grapple with a grief that's as complex as it is profound. Our latest conversation takes you on a journey through the sorrow of losing someone who was not just a friend but a cherished connection to our late son, Alec. We open up about the emptiness that follows, and how this dear soul's absence reverberates through every guitar string he once played with our son and each family gathering he brightened with his presence. It's a raw and honest exploration of the intricate web of mourning, love, and the memories that bind us, even after someone has gone.
As we prepare for Alec's pizza party with one less laugh in the chorus, the episode turns to the supportive embrace we extend to friends and family when they face their own losses. Listening becomes a lifeline, "feeling the feels" a necessary passage, and sharing stories a bridge across the void left behind. We're reminded that while we may not always be able to offer a physical hug, the connections forged through our shared narratives are a powerful salve. Our gratitude for the support of our listeners shines through as we reflect on the importance of keeping the voices of those we've loved alive in our conversations, creating a collective sanctuary for those seeking solace and understanding in their times of need.
We'd love to hear from our followers! Facebook: Warrior Moms-The Club No One Wants to Be In Instagram: WarriorMoms.SurvivingChildLoss
"Dream Bird" by Jonny Easton
Thank you for listening to Warrior Moms podcast. It is an honor to share about our beloved children gone too soon, and we hope in telling of our losses, it may help someone on their own grief journey. Please note that we are not medical professionals and encourage those listening to seek help from mental health professionals.
We'd love to hear from our followers! Facebook: Warrior Moms-The Club No One Wants to Be In Instagram: WarriorMoms.SurvivingChildLoss
With love, Warrior Moms
Speaker 1:
Hi and welcome back to Warrior Moms. I am.
Speaker 2:
Michelle and I'm Amy, and we are happy to be here again.
Speaker 1:
Yes, we have found a new type of technology today, so thank you, amy, for discovering this. We are so funny because we, of course, as many of you know, just jumped into podcasting without knowing a solitary thing about it, and we're doing it again today with the newbies.
Speaker 2:
We got a newbies thing.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, I love it. Yeah, I love it. Well, today we wanted to talk about something that's really sad and hard. That just happened in your life and you and I have talked about this in the last couple of days and I thought this might be helpful for other people to just hear you talk about it and normalize it a bit. But really, today we wanted to talk about losing others after you've lost a child.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, so we just lost. When we're recording this, it was actually three days ago now on.
Speaker 2:
Wednesday and today is Saturday. That we're recording, Just not that everybody needs to know all of this, but, like you said, when topics come up, I think it's important that we have the content, we're doing their role and just so we kind of get that true conversation, the true real life, what we go through on a daily basis, basically Right. But yeah, so we lost one of Alex's best friends on Wednesday and he was somebody that went through no Longer Bound with Alec. He was Alec's roommate at the time of his passing, At the time of Alex passing. It was his roommate. It's somebody that really showed up for us afterwards because he was extremely close to Alec.
Speaker 2:
We were extremely, of course, we were close to Alec because but it's just, it's weird the best way that I can describe it it's just lost. I can't put it into words right now, but it's somebody that was connected to Alec. That is now gone, Right, and that's kind of what I've tried to internalize and figure out exactly why I'm so sad. Granite Mike was a great guy. He was, like I said. He showed up for us after Alec passed away. So our daughter, Layla she always wanted Alec to teach her how to play guitar and he never got the chance to do that, but Mike really stepped in and asked him to help me find a guitar for Layla and we took out Freddie and we purchased a guitar for Layla and then he came over and gave her guitar lessons for a period of time and she's connected to the present family that you have.
Speaker 1:
And when Layla is a little bit older, in this grief process, Well, and she didn't really take hold of the guitar lessons.
Speaker 2:
She liked the idea of it, but she didn't like start playing guitar. But anyway, yes, but he gave her. He was connected, like you said, and he showed up at all of our events, all of the pizza parties. He was just a big part of everything that we do going forward. He was a big part of tea and cake. He was, you know, and I know that he grieved. He was actually the last person that spoke to Alec the day that he passed. Oh, my gosh, amy, and so there's so many questions that I had for him.
Speaker 1:
Yeah.
Speaker 2:
There was so much Like. I know that he has so many stories of Alec.
Speaker 1:
Yeah.
Speaker 2:
So, yes, it's the loss of Mike, but it's the loss of things that I'm never going to get to hear about Alec.
Speaker 1:
Yeah.
Speaker 2:
And that seems so selfish on my part to say it's real though.
Speaker 1:
It's real, it's part of where you are and I think Mike would understand that. You know he would know that he has this vessel of information, that it was a treasure chest for me. Yeah.
Speaker 2:
You know it's like we hear. You know we talk about the video, the pictures that come up that you know we've never seen before. And four years later, you know you get this picture that you never saw and it's literally a gift from heaven. Yeah, and this, these, these stories were like a treasure chest that I never got to tap into.
Speaker 1:
Right, I know, I'm just so sorry, gosh, and that's what.
Speaker 2:
Like I said, trying, I'm real big on internalizing. Why am I feeling like this? So that way I don't feel like this anymore. You know, you can get rid of the problem or the yeah, walk yourself through it. Well, yes, and that's kind of what the last few days have been for me. So, immediately, and it's what's a? I shouldn't say it's funny, but you know dark humor, right, michelle?
Speaker 1:
Yes, makes a lot of people uncomfortable.
Speaker 2:
It's our dark humor, but you know, everybody was so worried about when the word started getting out that he had passed and it. Everybody was like I don't want to tell Jeff and Amy has anybody told Jeff and Amy?
Speaker 2:
I don't want to be the one to cause them but you know because, because it is because Mike and Alec were so close and because they know how we, you know, bonded with Mike afterwards and it is another piece of Alec gone. But, um yeah, people always asked you like, what do you do? When you find out my immediate response, I Said send me the address I'm driving to his what he was married, his wife knew Alec to Alex, been a lot of time with the both of them.
Speaker 1:
So it was.
Speaker 2:
You know, they were very all very close and so but I got in the car and I drove straight To Caitlin's house.
Speaker 1:
What else is astounding to me? I mean that just shows me your heart and the love for for Mike and Also honoring Alec right here, you were using the strength and love of your son to show up.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, and that's where you know that to me that I Wouldn't have invited people and I would have said don't come Like back when I was in the thing, I didn't care. Like your brain doesn't work. We've talked about that, yeah you know, here. What happens? You don't, mm-hmm, you don't even know that there's another minute in front of the one that you're in. Yeah and so. But like I said, you show up and you just sit and you just listen and you try to discern what they need.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, and just you being there. I mean, I can only imagine what that felt like for her, because Even if she doesn't know it that very moment down the road, she's going to know what a gift that was for you showing up.
Speaker 2:
Yes, Well, I didn't do it. And also, too, I didn't do it because I'm like oh, I wanted to know that I'm here. No, it's seriously, my first instinct See the address. And then the Trish called me and told me another person that knows us all or whatever, like that she was there anyway, but Anyway, but I was like, and so he sent me the address and then sent me his mom's number.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, oh good.
Speaker 2:
And so I just called his mom and left a voicemail, now that I expected her to answer Right and to me that's what we do. Wow, when this stuff happens.
Speaker 1:
Well, and that's the part that just makes me so emotional, I mean, I think about all the beautiful humans that show up and that showed up and still show up for us, and I just don't think about it, just like you. You didn't, you didn't give it a seconds thought, you just did it.
Speaker 2:
And like I think this is a message to people that are, that are asked, to people they ask us all the time, you know, like I've had a couple of people call and say what you might know better, what does Caitlin need, and I'm like you know, I don't know. But you know, you kind of think of things, you try to think of things that, and I was like what were things that Mike took care of? Maybe the yard, maybe you know, and this is just kind of things that I'm going through, like how could, how could we best support Caitlin the wife? Yeah, and like I said, it's just maybe Mike took care of the yard. Maybe you know, we've always talked about grief groceries.
Speaker 2:
Gosh, yeah, somebody just to do that hard task of walking through a grocery store and, of course, right here in the beginning, it is like the service. Are they going to have a celebration of life? Yeah, when are they going to have a celebration of life? Are there? Items like Mike and Caitlin were the ones that packed Alex's room up for us.
Speaker 1:
Oh gosh, we didn't have.
Speaker 2:
You know. I know we've talked about that before, but these are the people that that boxed Alex's whole room up and I know that was so hard for them and it's. You just want to give back a little bit.
Speaker 1:
Oh my gosh. Yeah, oh, wow. I'm so thankful you did, and I also know that takes a toll on you. I bet you have just been in a dark place, exhausted place.
Speaker 2:
Yes, I mean it's like I get up and I do something and then just go back to the cat and it's, you're just numb, it takes you back and we've talked about it. You know with. You know when there's a car accident and someone's child was killed in a car accident, or you know if you hear of a murder, or I mean it takes you back.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, to where it was. Oh you're, I mean it's not as raw, certainly, but it's. It's an emotion, it's. It's a. It's a heavy emotion for sure, and it is. And I don't think people understand that because of course they see you and they're like oh gosh, and she's, you know, smiley and helpful and doing all this stuff with Layla's you know acting production company and, um, he's doing so well, and, yes, you are.
Speaker 2:
And and I'll live in the end. And then I come home and I lay on the sofa because I have to recharge. You know we've talked about that. We use all of our energy. Yeah, on that face, yeah, so well gosh. Maybe this will give somebody some insight on something.
Speaker 1:
Right, and I think the message is one, face it right. Two, self-reflect. What is it that I'm feeling? Show up right, that, even though it's going to be hard on you, that it's important, um, and you personally, I think, feel good that you did that for her. That gives you something you know.
Speaker 2:
And to be there in days to come, because it is, it's not just that day.
Speaker 1:
Yeah.
Speaker 2:
I mean it's we, I mean someone signed up to spend the night with her. I mean like she's not alone, somebody. You know that's big. Important too is make sure somebody's with them.
Speaker 1:
Yeah.
Speaker 2:
And you know she and I aren't that close, but it was somebody that was really close to her Right that stayed with her. Somebody else showed up the next day, you know, just to say you know what we're going to face this tomorrow and that was what somebody did for me. You know and you.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, oh gosh, and that's where.
Speaker 2:
I guess. I think that the biggest thing is we just have to listen to what people need.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, and they don't know. I think that's the last part of it is. Then listen to yourself. Give yourself the grace that you know, in this loss, after such a deep loss of Alec, that this is, this is also. This is going to be painful and you've got to, you know. Give yourself that grace to grieve again to grieve again.
Speaker 2:
I mean, you know the pizza party's coming up we talked about that, you know, and it's like one day you know he's not going to be there and that's going to be weird, because he's always there.
Speaker 1:
Yeah.
Speaker 2:
You know like so anyway.
Speaker 1:
So yeah, Well, thank you for tuning in. I know this is heavy on your heart and but I think it's so important just to hear what it feels like and what you're going through. Maybe others will just feel that. You know it's normal to feel the way that you do. I love the phrase you always say is feel, all the feels.
Speaker 2:
Feel the feels. Yeah, just feel the feels, and I'm really glad that we have this new like Internet going on, because we were able to truly get into the really deep in the moment, not, oh, I remember three weeks ago, yeah, I mean, we were just sitting here learning about this technology and it's like, well, let's try it. You know, and you were like, let's talk about Mike.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, is that going to be too hard? Yeah, it is hard.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, it is hard, but it's good. It's good we have to say their name, we have to talk about them.
Speaker 1:
We do, we do, and I'm just so grateful. And you know we were talking. I don't know. I had said it a week or so ago that I was worried that we'd lose some. You know something about not sitting in the same room yes, and it still was good.
Speaker 2:
I think so, I think so Hopefully our relationship.
Speaker 1:
I mean, I still want to see you in person. So this is interesting. I know I need to hug your neck.
Speaker 2:
But for times like this and maybe people that are out of town and stuff, it's you know I think this will be a good medium.
Speaker 1:
It's amazing. Well, thank you for sharing.
Speaker 2:
Till next time. Yes, Thank you guys for being here. Bye-bye, Tell me what you want to hear the next next week. What Thought, what might you find that nous Yo bye.